One thing that I never anticipated when I started this blog was how much controversy the name would create. At the time, I had three boys. (Now I have four.) I never planned on being the mom of all boys, and it was kind of an adjustment to embrace the “boy-mom” role. (Now, God has blessed us with a little girl as well, so we have four boys ranging in age from 11 to 3 and a 9 month old girl.) Anyway, when my oldest son was 2 or 3, I remember doing art projects with him. Rather than creating a picture, he made sound effects with the paintbrush as he splattered paint here and there. It kind of took me by surprise, and I had to adjust my expectations. So when I started this site, my goal was to encourage moms of boys and to provide them with ideas for things that boys might want to do. Crafts that girls like are everywhere, and moms know more naturally what girls like to do. Plus, girls generally enjoy things for girls as well as things for boys. Boys can be harder to please. Crafts with paper hearts? Beaded bracelets? Nah. A catapult or explosion? SURE!
I regularly receive complaints that the name of my site is sexist and offensive because it excludes girls. For the record, I have no problem at all with girls doing the activities on this site. Of course girls will like many of these things! I have had to grow a thick skin, and most of the time these comments don’t bother me, but today I received this one on Facebook:
“It (my post about Legos) came to my newsfeed and it’s offensive. Boys and girls aren’t born blue and pink they are raised this way. This site just propagates the notion that they are different and that’s wrong and yes, sexist. Why you be so sexist? WHY?? WHY?? The only difference boys and girls are born with are their genitalia … “
Really? A site named “Frugal Fun for Boys” is that offensive? I am only sharing the first half of the comment because of the crude language, but this commenter states that she has four daughters. I was not surprised. I can’t imagine a mom of boys, especially 2 or more boys, claiming that their boys would be just like little girls if the adults in their lives would only let them.
Shortly after receiving this comment, I asked my 8 year old son to entertain Janie while I made lunch. He sweetly took her from my arms and said, “Janie! Let’s go play with some of your toys!” He didn’t want a sister, and cried when we found out she was a girl. And now he loves her. She balances out all their boy-ness.
Before she was born, the boys said things like, “Pink? YUCK. Do we have to get her pink stuff?”
I told them, “You don’t have to like girly things. But I am buying her pink crib sheets.”
As soon as she arrived, they melted.
“Aw, doesn’t Janie look sweet in her church dress?”
“Here, Janie, do you want to hold your baby doll?”
They don’t want to *be* girly, but they love the fact that their sister is.
When we deny the fact that girls and boys are designed differently by God, we miss the opportunity to appreciate the beautiful differences. We complement each other. Boys and girls are different, not unequal. One is not inferior to the other.
Janie is only a baby. I don’t know what she’ll be like as she grows. But I can tell you right now that she is spirited. She loves loud things and shrieks with laughter when someone screams. She has a strong will and is a very self-determined little thing. And yet, her outgoing nature does not mean she’s not feminine.
When we hold her, she pats our shoulders and says, “Awww.” It’s the sweetest thing ever. The other day, I was hugging Jordan, and Janie looked at us and said, “Awww.” I can tell you with certainty that none of the four boys ever did that!
Jonathan, on the other hand, has an inborn instinct to protect his sister. One day when she was still very young, our dog started chewing on her toes to take her socks off. (He likes to chew up socks – dumb dog!) Jonathan saw the dog biting Janie’s toes and was paralyzed for a second. When he could finally get some words out, he said, “Tucker! You bad dog! You not bite Janie EVER AGAIN!”
Jonathan has always loved babies and owns a couple of baby dolls of his own. But what did he want for his 3rd birthday? A chainsaw so he can “cut down trees and be a worker man.” He wants to be a man. He loves his Grandpa more than anyone else. He can’t wait to be grown up so that he can do real men’s work. I can tell you that this is his nature! We did not push a chainsaw on him. We have not raised him to be a “worker man.”
I am concerned that our culture wants to ensure that girls can do everything that boys can do, and that things should not even be labeled “for boys” for fear of excluding girls. And yet, we take things away from boys that are part of their nature. Turning a stick into a gun? Expel him from preschool! For goodness sakes, teach them gun safety and the right way to deal with conflict, but don’t shame them for gravitating toward manly things. It makes me wonder if there is a connection between the push for boys to act just like girls (and telling them “no” all the time) and the fact that more and more young men have trouble taking on responsibility as adults… But that’s another post entirely.
So yes. This site is “for boys.” It’s not for only boys. It’s not a statement about how girls should not participate in science or math (another accusation that I hear frequently). It’s just a resource for moms (and dads, but not as many dads read mom blogs) to find projects that they can do with their boys, and of course girls are going to be happy to participate too! It’s a place where moms can read about another family where the boys turn wrapping paper rolls into light sabers and play endless jumping off the couch games and think, “Okay, our house is pretty normal after all!” I think it’s okay to have something “for boys.” There are plenty of things for girls out there. I’m not saying that girls should only play with dolls and pink princess stuff (I actually won’t be encouraging Janie to embrace the princess lifestyle!), and I’m not saying that boys can’t play with dolls.
A few weeks ago, my four boys and a neighbor boy were out playing football. I went out to call them in, but when I saw what they were doing, I stopped. Aidan was coaching Jonathan on how to run a football play. He instructed the neighbor boy, “Now don’t go rough on him!” The neighbor did a hilarious fake tackle in which he missed Jonathan and slid across the grass. Then they all cheered while Jonathan ran the ball down for a touchdown!
I was so proud of all of them, grass stains and all. They are boys turning into men.
What I am saying is that it’s silly to pretend there are no differences. Because when we do, we miss the beauty that God created.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this issue! Due to the controversial nature of this issue, polite disagreement is welcome, but mean and rude comments will be deleted.
65 Comments
erin Jan 15, 2015
I agree 100%. I have a 5 year old girl and a 2 year old boy. My girl likes boy toys because she likes her boy friends, but she is still a girl, and I can see it in so many ways. When she plays with trains, she doesn't sit there and push them around the track making noises, she sits them there as characters and has them talk out their disagreements. Her Thomas train takes princesses to the castle to dance. Between Thomas and a doll, she will take Thomas any day, but she plays with Thomas like a doll.
My son likes baby dolls, but he also likes dinosaurs. His baby dolls frequently get used as stepping stools to reach something higher, or get thrown down the stairs... But they also get love and hugs. He's still pretty small, but there are so many boy things he does that his sister didn't. Even his language development has been much more boy. He knows the sounds for things instead of the words. His sister learned words, and from there learned the sounds, but my boy has been doing the opposite.
I do some of the things here with both, and they both enjoy them. I wish I couldn't believe that people would get offended by the name of this site, but unfortunately people get offended by everything these days. Please continue, and know that parents with kids of both genders love your site and understand.
Jess Connell Jan 15, 2015
GREAT thoughts! We've got 5-going-on-6 boys here, and 1 lone girl… similar to your ratio, and there are so many innate differences.
Yes, sometimes the boys will sit and color with their sister, but rarely for as long as she likes to sit… and yes, she'll build Legos with them.
But the differences are apparent too: my nearly-2-year-old pushes his cars and duplos around in his big sister's baby doll stroller. And I will never forget looking in on our daughter "playing" with her big brothers' matchbox cars by having them lay in beds in her doll house, and wake up and "talk" to each other. Yes, they are each technically playing with the others' toys, and yet, they are playing with those toys in dramatically different ways!
I appreciate, too, that you make the point that while this isn't ONLY for boys, that you are seeking to share activities that boys will find fascinating.
Like you, I had to get used to the frequency of "explosions" and "crashes" and noises with boys' play that is simply different than I how I grew up playing, or how most girls naturally play. They really are different, and it's not just "OK"-- it's good! :)
Thanks for the great article!
Jess
Sarah Jan 15, 2015
My husband was reading through this comment thread earlier and said, "Did you see the one about the little girl playing with matchbox cars in the doll's house?" Perfect example! We noticed the same thing with our Thomas the Train table. Several girls came over to play, and suddenly the trains had families and conversations! Our trains are usually played with with lots of sound effects and motion. Not a lot of story line. :-) Thanks for your comment!
Lori-Anne Jan 15, 2015
Yes! Thank-you! These are thoughts I've been having for a long time too. I don't understand why people are so offended that boys and girls are different, as if admitting that is to mean that there is something "wrong" with not being the same. But I also believe it when it says that God made man and woman (differenly) and He saw it was good.
I have three boys and two girls, and I can say that there is a difference between the two genders! I can also say that each of my children are different from each other as well. it makes for a very interesting and loud house! :)
Thank-you for your posts, I love reading them!
Almost Unschoolers Jan 15, 2015
As a mother of both boys and girls, I can tell you the name of this site has never offended me : )
Krystal Jan 15, 2015
We are blessed with 4 rowdy children 5 yrs and under, 1 of which is our little lady. She is our death defying, fearless child and wrestles with the best of them, but always requests Tinkerbell amidst her brothers groans and actually cares what her clothes look like. She is stubborn and strong willed and quite the contrast to her twin brother. As the youngest of 3 girls I've always been amazed at my boys' love of all things wheels and weapons of destruction and have to often reminded them that colors don't have genders. ;)
I appreciate the ideas and suggestions you share. And thank God for the differences he gave my husband and I that we might compliment each other as I pray my children will do with their own spouses. Reminds me of the book I just picked up by Truett Cathy "It's Better to Build Boys Than Mend Men"
Please keep on helping us build our little boys!
Mel Jan 15, 2015
You said it beautifully. I came to this site bc I was looking for boy things. Thank you for this site!
Lisa @ This Pilgrim Life Jan 15, 2015
Really well written. I have two boys and a 1 year old girl. My boys enjoy playing with a lot of different things, but they definitely gravitate towards building (and destroying) and animals (making them hunt and fight) and toy weapons (we encourage them to use them properly and to protect people). These things just happened naturally. It doesn't make them less sweet or tender (they are very affectionate) and it doesn't mean they don't branch out into other things. They both have a doll and are learning to cook and sew. I agree-- embracing their differences rather than ignoring them or flatly contradicting them gives us the opportunity to see God's design and prepare them for being good workers and good leaders in their homes later in life.
I gave my daughter her first doll for Christmas this year, and I just melted when she immediately picked up her baby and hugged and rocked her. It was so precious. I didn't know what to expect but even now differences in nature are coming out. That being said, she still plays transformers, dinosaurs, and blocks with her brothers.
Thank you for addressing what unfortunately can be such a volatile topic in our culture today.
Jennifer (momvstheboys) Jan 15, 2015
As a mom to three boys, I know full well that boys and girls are very different creatures and have very different interests. It's so much harder to engage boys in crafts and activities, and I appreciate your site for providing just the kind of things my boys like to do. It's a great resource for us boymoms!
In a world where we push girls to want to do everything boys do, I think boys sometimes just shoved under the carpet. Thank you for being a place where we can celebrate boys for just being themselves!
Amy Pessolano Jan 15, 2015
Oh my goodness I love you! :) You've said what's in my head every time I see this "controversy" come up and am too afraid to comment because I don't want to stir the pot up more. I love your blog. Keep doing what you do and all the "boy moms" who get it will just keep reading. (I have 2 boys and wouldn't have it any other way)
The Practical Mom Jan 15, 2015
beautifully put! i wonder how the parents over thinking gender roles are themselves as as people. for eg im pretty much a feminist, tough n independent BUT i don't like sports or legos!
i guess its important for children to have exposure to all kids of toys regardless of which gender it caters too but in he end of the day let them play with whatever they naturally seem to like!
The Practical Mom Jan 15, 2015
omigosh too many typos!
Cat Jan 26, 2015
I couldn't agree more. I firmly believe that children should be allowed to play as they desire and have had many "gender-bending" play experiences in my classroom. (I have been a special education teacher for 18 years) I have had boys play with Barbies and girls loving the Lego's. Some play with them in ways that are unique to their gender- some do not.
I bought my little girl (4 yr old) a Thomas the train when she wanted one, but she prefers her princess gear and doc McStuffins. I refuse to push her away from the toys she likes in order to satisfy anyone else's agenda!
Sheila @ BrainPowerBoy Jan 15, 2015
Well, I couldn't agree more. They are different, very different.
I also do not understand why people get so upset if you say something is fun for boys. That does Not imply that girls cannot do that activity. Of course girls can do it.
I love that I can come here, show my son an activity, and have him say "Cool, can we do that!"
When my son was little he was very into traditional boy things. It was hard to find activities and crafts that would really appeal to him. There are a ton of neutral activities out there. We love what you do!
Jamie Reimer Jan 15, 2015
AWESOME Sarah! I'm so glad you wrote this (will definitely be sharing with my readers). You know I agree 100% -- you're amazing.
The thing is that as a mom of 3 boys, I have to sift through all the content out there to find something for my boys to do. Its not even that something's pink or girly, it's just the type of activities that they are - my boys need to run and tumble A LOT!!!!
Jennifer Jan 15, 2015
I agree with you. I have 5 kids: 2 girls, 1 boy, 1 girl, 1 boy. Those first two girls broke me in as a mama. They taught me the ropes and what to expect at each age. Then when the oldest girl was 7, the next girl was 4.5, we had our first son. Almost everything about him was different. He climbed the baby gates as a baby where as even my 7yo still respected them and didn't dare try. He climbed everything, actually. The girls never did that. Then he'd leap off of whatever he'd climbed! He growled, charged, wrestled, and pounced. The girls had done some wrestling and pouncing, but not as a daily main event. The three played barbies together, but he would mostly use the barbie car, or else use the barbie AS a car and drive her around on her face. There were all sorts of differences like this that we certainly never encouraged and never predicted or expected.
Now as a more seasoned mother, I watch my 10yo & 3yo boys bond over their similarities. My big guy has a padawan :-) It's adorable. The very best of friends in the house are the 10yo boy & 7yo girl, though. They find plenty of common ground, including stuff found on this site, but there are also areas of interest that do not at all overlap for each of them.
I love your blog. It's a fact that it's harder to find stuff that interests boys in the way of crafts and activities (that don't include a pocket knife). The next time someone says there's no difference between male and female other than genitalia ask them to walk into a public men's room and smell the difference. It's true that not ALL boys/girls follow typical patterns, but there ARE typical patterns for each gender. Does your detractor shop in the boys' clothing section for her daughter? Hope she likes primary colors and those that match dirt. Does she cut her daughter's hair short so as to not be gender-stereotyped by pretty clips and bows? Doubt it. Does she put bows in her son's hair? Doubt it. Can we just admit there are differences, and that's ok, and differences do not make women lesser some how? Equality does not mean exactly the same. Our strength is in our ability to choose. Stating that your blog is primarily about typical boyish interests is not offensive, it's directive.
Sarah Jan 15, 2015
Wrestling as a daily main event... Oh YES! Girls enjoy playing rough, but my boys seriously want to play that way ALL. DAY. LONG. Enjoyed your comment!
Jess Connell Jan 20, 2015
Same thing here! Wrestling is definitely a favorite event around here, for my boys. :)
Michele Jan 15, 2015
Love this site. I am a mother of two older boys (10, 8) and a girl(3), who is the most dare devil one of them all. I agree with the above. I love the differences boys and girls have, they both bring to my life. Best of both worlds, I feel very blessed.
Layla Jan 15, 2015
I have to respectfully disagree with you on this one. I came across your site earlier today. It may have been from the same link the rude emailer found. I admit, the name of your site nearly stopped me from clicking. I have a daughter who is very much into dinosaurs, space and generally hooning about making way too much noise. Many of the things she wears and selects to play with are considered 'masculine' and now she can read, she certainly is getting that message. It broke my heart when she picked out some dinosaur pyjamas, then told me to take them back, as the label said "boys'". She would love so many of the brilliant ideas on your site, but if she knew the name of it, she'd think twice. My son's favourite colour is pink, and he is regularly questioned about it when he wears his pink sparkly wellies. He's only two. How long will it be until he drops it in favour of what the world is telling him? There is no way a colour preference can be hard wired in, but look at the choices our children make because of it. They pick this stuff up early, and it limits them. I don't think that's what God wanted.
Lucy Jan 15, 2015
I find your comment sad. You were hesitant because of the name of the blog and then say your daughter likes things that are masculine. She is learning that things are for "boys" so is starting to think twice. As her parent your job is to not be offended by the name of a blog and pick out things that would help your daughter develop her interests and self confidence. She is more likely to be picking up cues from you rather than society at this stage. Please give her the confidence and self esteem to question the world as we currently know it. She is a future Nobel scientist in the making unless you make her believe that she can't wear dinosaur pyjamas because of an easy marketing definition. Buy them for her and cut the label out. I have three boys one of whom is sensitive to people's needs, non sporty and loves drawing. I don't decide from that that he is feminine. His brother is a bouncy, energy filled boy who wears a kitten coat and pink cape and loves bundling his dad. I don't describe him as masculine and care that his coat is from the girls section (and has a matching hat!). I regard all my children as individuals and embrace their choices and want to support them. I've got to teach my sons that women are equal to them but hate the thought of them still growing up with submissive women bound by beliefs about what they can and can't be.
layla Jan 16, 2015
I would dispute that those things are masculine. I think they are considered so, and that that is a problem with society. I bought those pyjamas, and told her it didn't matter what other people called them if she liked them. There's a big drive in people to conform, and I will fight as hard as I can to help her stand up to the onslaught of voices telling her that she is less of a girl because of her preferences, but she's 5. When she has kids in the playground saying that she's wearing boys'clothes or overhears complete strangers calling her a tomboy, that's hard. She identifies as female and is sometimes having to alter her innate preferences to fit in. I will always be her advocate. Feminism and gender bias are big issues for me and I hope they will for her too. That's why I posted a reply, as it's not so clear cut as it was made out in the article.
KATIE Nov 23, 2015
Sounds like me at that age. I liked everything "boy stuff" and played with all my stuffed animals like they were action figures. My mom took me shopping one day when I was 5 or 6 at gap and grabbed a pair of cargo shorts. They had so many pockets for toys and cool things like acorns, and I just imagined how great they be for climbing trees in. But I looked around and saw this was the boys section, and all the pink frilly things were in the girls section which I hated. I told my mom we couldn't buy them but she said it made no difference whether or not it said boy or girl and bought them anyway. I wore them the next day and one scamper up my tree and they were my favorite!
Part of growing up is learning that some rules you follow (listen to your mother),some you break (girls can't/shouldn't/aren't good at that), and some trump all others (accept and love everyone for who they really are). I never was a girly girl in my life and a lot of women weren't either. Girls aren't different than boys, people are different from each other. Just remember that society tells a lot of girls they should be a certain way, and the kind of girls whos parents come here are likely tomboys who have the same interests as your sons. If there is an assumption that girls aren't interested in STEM then it is important to call it out. Just saying "and girls, too!" is a huge acknowledgement for little girls and there parents too.
Sarah Jan 15, 2015
Okay, I honestly don't mean this to sound harsh, but is color a big deal? If a child is told that his pink boots are girly, and he ends up going with a different color, does that really create a lot of damage? My 2 year old liked pink for a while and would always choose a pink balloon. I didn't say anything about it, but when he brothers mentioned (kindly) that they wouldn't pick pink because it was a girl color, he started choosing something different. It's part of life - you learn to adapt. You either decide to go with what you like and deal with the comments, or you change. My site is not particularly written for kids to be reading it. The name is to help parents find what they need. If your daughter were to find out our site name, why not just say, "This mom has a lot of boys, but she would love for anyone to use these ideas!"
Layla Jan 16, 2015
Grr, the computer ate my last reply. Try again!
No, a colour is absolutely not a big deal. That's my point. How did we start thinking it was? Stick pink on a tea set, baby doll clothes, Lego for goodness sake, and suddenly they become off limits. Yes, our boys can still choose them, and I would be delighted to buy them (and do) for my children, but the constant subtle cues they get that to do so makes them less of a boy makes it less likely. This isn't the genetic preference you were talking about. This is social programming.
I guess the difference between us is that you consider a clear gender divide to be a positive and to be encouraged. I believe that left to their own devices, children would occupy a far wider spectrum in expressing their gender, and I think that's preferable.
Let's be honest though, if the site was called 'frugal fun with my boys' that would be referring to your own sons. 'Frugal fun for boys' is excluding girls as the target audience. It grates on me as I'm so used to seeing categorising on this level. It makes perfect sense for you to do so though, as you believe there's a fundamental difference in the interests of males and females. That's perfectly valid, I just happen to disagree and wanted to offer a (hopefully less rude!) opinion than the one that sparked this article. I'm glad I did click though, as there are some lovely ideas here which both my children will enjoy, with or without a penis.
Layla Jan 16, 2015
Tried to reply twice and lost them both - third time lucky!
No, colour is absolutely not a big deal, and that’s my point. How did we get to a place where we think colour preference is hardwired? Stick pink packaging on tea sets, dolls’ clothes, on Lego for goodness sake, and suddenly it becomes off limits for boys. I’m sure you’ll say, but of course they can still have those things, and yes they can. I buy them, happily, but how long do you think a young child can continue making choices that others think make him less of a boy? Adults find it hard to stand up to prejudice, can we really expect little ones to do better? Look in any toy shop and you’ll see boys faces emblazoned on toy weapons, and science sets. Girls are shown on kitchens and dolls things. It’s hard for a child to go against the grain and pick something they would love to play with, but is clearly aimed at someone else. That is social conditioning.
As for the name, it’s entirely your prerogative. I disagree that I could explain it’s because you have boys. That would be ‘Frugal Fun With My Boys’ or similar. Your target audience is for parents of boys. That’s fine, as obviously you see a clear, innate dichotomy between genders, and this is preferable to you. I found it galling, as I see gender as more fluid and arranged as a spectrum and that is preferable to me. I was glad I swallowed my pride and got past the name, as there are lots of great ideas my family will enjoy, with or without a penis.
Kim Jan 15, 2015
As a mom of four girls, thank you for stepping out and saying this! I have incredibly inquisitive, intelligent girls who love science and math and building things. BUT they are still girls! They want to wear frilly things and they have pre-teen hormone drama. They want to explore hair styles and test out new fashion styles. I'm not surprised because I'm the same way (sans the hormone drama!) One of my daughters loves blue, the rest love pink & purple. Not because I've pushed it on them, but because that's their preferences. They love all LEGOS, but they really love the Friends sets. I'm so tired of hearing people say that boys and girls are the same. We're not, but that doesn't make women inferior. So thank you, thank you, thank you for saying this!
Charlotte Sohm Jan 15, 2015
Can't agree with you more! I don't remember how I stumbled on your blog, but the minute I started reading, I knew that it was going to be a great help. All of your children are just a little ahead of mine age-wise and all the same genders (4 boys and a baby girl), so when I read your blog I feel as if I'm looking into a mirror of sorts. Such a blessing to know that I'm not the only mom experiencing the things I'm experiencing. It never occurred to me that your blog title was sexist. You write mainly about activities for boys. Why wouldn't you have a title that stated what your blog was your most common theme? There are hundreds of blogs about cats, are those folks excluding the dog-lovers out there? I truly understand the boy/girl issue, but if someone can't use the information s/he finds on a blog, why would they waste time reading it? Much less commenting on it. And if these people *can* be blessed with the material found on a blog, can't theyuse I to their benefit regardless what the name of the blog is? Thank you for blessing me with your wealth of knowledge and crafty ideas!
Mamadragin Jan 15, 2015
You hit the nail on the head when you said people are equating different with unequal. We are most definitely complements, each gifted differently, to help the other but none more or less important. It is a beautiful balance! We have four boys: 15, 11, 6, &3 and one little lady: 3 months. I love your site. Keep up the good work!
British American Jan 15, 2015
I completely agree with you. My oldest is a girl and then I have two boys. The boys do play differently than their sister and I do like websites that have "books for boys" or "crafts for boys" which feature things that will appeal to them.
Janelle Jan 15, 2015
I completely disagree. My son is 4 and loves Barbies and My Little Pony. It is these types of beliefs that are passed down from parent to child and cause children who prefer clothing and toys geared toward the opposite gender to be ridiculed and laughed at. I have never pushed my son toward his interests, he has come to them on his own. There may be commonalities between *some* boys and *some* girls, but to make a sweeping generalization that *all* boys are different from *all* girls is inaccurate. I understand you may disagree with me and believe I should force my child to conform to gender norms that you believe in, and that's fine.
Julie Jan 15, 2015
You said that so well!! It's the truth. People just like to stir up controversy that isn't there. I love to see what you have to say because my boys are the same age as your second (or close to it) and its always spot on to what they would like to do.
Ignore the nay-sayers and keep on keeping on!!!
kaye Jan 15, 2015
so far i have all boys, but i grew up with all sisters, and currently have nieces, so i see there are truly differences between boys and girls. im sorry you are criticized about the name or focus of your blog, that is crazy! i believe God made us differently and generally speaking, with different roles and strengths. just as valuable, both reflecting different aspects of our Creator.
but with that said, i do think it's unfortunate that so many people feel uncomfortable with their child playing with the opposite gender's toys, or in the way they play. i do think there is a lot of unfair distinctions on both sides of the toy industry, etc that do make it hard for boys AND girls to explore what they like without being pigeon holed as strange or gay.
my first son is very nuturing and is a fantastic big brother. he would carry around a teddy bear as his baby, copying what he sees from his mom AND dad, and asked if he could have a sling just like we were his brother. i was ok with making him one, but my husband didn't allow it bc it would be 'too girly' and he didn't want him to be made fun of. i see his point of trying to protect him, but at the same time, my husband himself carries our baby in a sling. its a parental, nurturing thing, not a 'girl' thing. i want to raise my sons to be serving fathers.
its funny how often people are surprised they boys have a play kitchen with pretend food, etc and a box of dress up clothes (granted, mostly boyish costumes, but still.) i dont know why they are surprised. boys love to dress up and play pretend too, and cook and create, and imitate mom AND dad. i want my boys to learn how to cook and enjoy the process.
my youngest son loves pink and purple (although he is actually the more masculine one of the boys, very aggressive and atheletically coordinated). i feel awkward when i have to pull away a pretty pink or purple shoe or toy from him at the store and try to dance around the words, 'thats for girls' because he doesn't know the difference and he just really likes the colors. again, i would maybe be okay with it but not my husband, so i unite with his decision.
on the flip side, i see my nieces who LOVE to come over and play trucks, trains and blocks at my house, and find it kinda sad that those things aren't given to girls to play with in their own homes. we need future female engineers, scientists, and such.
i wish that there was not so much taboo thinking surrounding it all and let kids just play and like what they like! however, i don't think that your site promotes any harmful agenda against girls and boys. thanks for the great content!
Stephanie Jan 15, 2015
Well, my husband is very masculine. He is a great father. He had a couple of dolls as a child.
Children tend to pick up their definition of 'masculine' from their father and 'feminine' from their mother.
Brendan Jan 15, 2015
As a dad who DOES read your blog and do projects I find here both with and for my boys and my girl, I find this perfectly well said and not at all sexist. Though there will always be both children and adults who don't fit the generalizations, as I myself am fairly feminine and my gorgeous wife is the one who knows how to change the oil, those generalizations do exist for a reason. It's not about inequality, it's about general preferences. If a project is suitable for your daughter, do it with her. If suitable for your son, do it with him. No biggie. Personally, I love this site!
Kate Jan 15, 2015
I don't know. I have two daughters, one of them being a baby.
My three year old does tons of things that are usually classified as boy things. Every time one of those "only moms of boys" posts makes the rounds on Facebook, I read it, and she fits so many of them. She digs up worms, weaponizes toys, rough and tumble, loves cars (even helped her great grandpa replace my emergency break discs), loves playing with rocks, dirt. Her favorite part of a craft is ripping stuff to shreds. She does all these things in a dress (seriously has to wear one every day for some reason), mind you, but she does break the mold a bit!
Sarah Jan 15, 2015
I wouldn't necessarily consider those to be "masculine" traits - it sounds like she is just enthusiastic about life! Age three is pretty young. I bet that by the time she is older, she may still have plenty of energy and enjoy lots of activities that are usually classified as boy things, but that won't mean that she is just like a boy.
Kimberly Goering Jan 15, 2015
"Different, not unequal" is such a perfect sentiment. I have one daughter, an only child; and I am not at all offended by the name or content. You're doing a great thing for other interested parents.
Rosa Snapp Jan 15, 2015
I get such great ideas from your blog! I am a mom of two boys, and I find the same to be true, it is sometimes difficult to find what they like to do...especially on a day when the weather doesn't permit going outside. I am also a teacher, and have used some of the ideas you have posted with the boys in my classroom. I have found that often times, moms of girls don't really get my life a a mom of boys, but I probably don't understand their life either. I wouldn't trade being a mom of boys for the world, though. I'm sorry you are getting some of those nasty comments. I feel like some people want to make everything a fight, and are so quick to turn something into a politically correct battle. Those people have way too much time on their hands.
Rachel Jan 15, 2015
I absolutely agree and have enjoyed many of your posts - the thoughtful ones, the ideas for fun ideas for boys, and the ideas for Christmas gifts as well. We have two boys and two girls, and there is quite a bit of difference between them!
Tammy Jan 15, 2015
I totally agree with what you said. And I love sites that are designed to encourage and give moms like me new ideas to do with their sons!
Noelle Jan 15, 2015
Thank you for saying it! I hate what our culture is doing to our boys and girls! I have 2 girls but I completely agree with you!
Becky Thomas Jan 15, 2015
Actually, I think it's a little from column A and a little from column B. I believe that there ARE innate differences between boys and girls. Biology being what it is, those differences don't begin to show until around the age of 3 or 4. There are exceptions to every rule, but girls are typically fine motor to boy's large motor.
But I DO believe we as a society helps to shape those differences, but that too is human nature. Human beings are herding animals. We are most comfortable following the crowd. That too is innate and hardwired. There's nothing sad or depressing about a boy changing preferences from pink. He's hardwired to WANT to change his preferences to suite others. He's following his instincts here too. It's why cities exist and why most of us are more comfortable around others than alone. Being social requires a certain amount of acceptance from the social beings around us. It's the way it is supposed to be. The way God meant for us to exist. As members of a community. A piece of a whole.
Stephanie Jan 15, 2015
I doubt that commenter was going that deep. They simply didn't consider that you had a house of boys when you started the blog. They forgot you are just sharing your view of the world and that includes sons. They stuck their foot in their mouth.
Might be time to rename though with the girl in the mix. Add girl somewhere?
Bridget Jan 16, 2015
Hi, I run Holiday and Afterschool Care Programmes in New Zealand, I stumbled on your site when looking up activities to help engage the boys in our programmes, yes the boys! We provide a variety of activities but filling in a 10 hour day it can be a struggle to find things that interest them, and after 15years I also wanted something new and different?
People tend to go a bit P.C. mad! It was the name of your blog that drew me in, anything that will inspire the boys (especially the older ones) to make and create is tops in my book and we are on a budget so win win. The favourites were the catapult, the cup shooter and the ninja stress balls. Of course the girls enjoyed these activities too but no one said do I have to make this?
Thank you so much for all that you share. Your children are truly blessed with all they get to experience.
Christy Jan 16, 2015
As a mom of both a girl and a boy, I totally agree with your post. Though I will admit- my girl is 2 1/2, and the boy is 7 1/2 months, so I have seen your posts and thought "that'll be perfect when Grayson is older." Because, yes, despite the fact that Becca loves science and digging in the dirt and "boy" toys, you're right- she's wired differently. So I just file your ideas away for when I need something special for my boy. There's nothing wrong with that!! I think many people are so eager to try to embrace the LGBT society that they forget that we also need to embrace our hetero children as well. It's ok if kids of opposite genders do an activity or play with a toy or wear clothing that was marketed toward the other gender. But that's not what your blog is about, as some commenters seem to think. You're simply a mom sharing the experiences you have with your kids. I feel like I preach from the rooftops that EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT!! AND THAT'S OK!!! I'll just never understand why parents criticize other parents for how they raise their own kids. I love that you blog about what you do with your boys. Keep it up!!! Don't let any naysayers who are stressed over your name get you down.
Missy Jan 16, 2015
I really appreciate this article & your blog. As a mom if 3 boys and daycare provider of both boys and girls, I agree with every word of this post. What drew me to your blog is the fact that you were in my shoes--a houseful of boys--and knowing that my house wasn't abnormal because there were gun battles, loudness, jumping on furniture, & constant sand or mud being drug through the back door. Do the daycare girls like playing in the mud? Yes, but they can play house far longer than any male at my house. Unless there is an "action" break for going to work, driving a make-believe truck or train, or the cops to come arrest someone. :) Oh, my 3yo also loves to be a "worker man". Had to smile at that!! Thank you for your blog!! It has saved my mommy sanity. :)
Ann Jan 16, 2015
I really enjoyed reading this post, Sarah, as well as all the comments. I'll never forget when I got a dollhouse for my little home daycare. The girls played with it as it was "meant" to be played with (setting up house, etc). The boys drove little toy cars down its stairs and off its roof!
Jess Connell Jan 20, 2015
Haha! Truth!!
They play differently.
Amena Jan 16, 2015
I really appreciate this article. I have been trying to raise my sons gender neutral but have realized that this is totally unrealistic and does them a disservice in their journey to become young men.
Jane Jan 16, 2015
I've just discovered your site recently and I think it's wonderful. I find that the people who are most vocal about this "controversy" tend not to have enough experience (yet) with children of both sexes to notice the equality and the differences. That being said, I've never found your site name to be offensive or exclusionary. I've always read it as "fun that has especial appeal to boys". Similar to the idea of "sewing that can be done for boys"... There's a lot of stuff on the blogosphere that is girl-centric when it comes to crafts and projects and gifts, so it was nice to find a site that has a focus for the hard to capture attention span of boys! Thanks for persevering through the "haters who finds hate"
Pcclose Jan 17, 2015
I agree with you Jane. I think often those who have little experience with children tend to argue harder and longer on this issue. If only everyone could understand that "equal" doesn't mean "same".
Sarah, I love your blog and all the ideas you share. They have helped us through many a cold or rainy day and helped me, lover of books, cooking, board games, and quiet things, relate better to my super hero loving perpetual motion man.
To the Complainers, I'm a mom of two boys who reads this blog and also the blogs of several women who are raising all daughters. Never one has it occurred to me to complain to those authors that their title or posts have so many uses of the words girl(s), daughter(s), she, or her. I read them with the intention they were written; as encouragement and advise to other moms who are all doing the best they can. If you don't have something nice to say, simply close your web browser and move on.
Sabrina Jan 16, 2015
Dear Sarah,
Your article was exceptionally written! Unfortunately, some people are always looking for the dog's fifth leg! They find a way to distort your words and give it a completely different meaning than what you intended and that us (your long time readers) understand.
I started reading your blog as the mom of a (now 6 yr old) boy looking for ideas. I also now have an almost 2 year old girl and let me say that I apply a lot of your ideas with her, with great results, just as with her brother.
What I'm saying is that, while it was a great article, please disregard the mean comments. If people don't like your blog or are offended in any way, there's plenty of other options.
I certainly don't come here looking for labels– just fun ideas for BOTH my kids. Regardless of the name. Keep up the great work, your readers don't care about the name!!!
Deirdre Lovelace Jan 16, 2015
I am a Mom to an 18-yr old Girl and 11 & 9 yrs old Boys. Because my sons did not arrive until my daughter was 7, I had a lot of time to spend learning about the different parts of growing up, what to expect when, how to handle potty training! and on-n-on. I had it down! I was totally comfortable being a Mom. We did so many different things together....crafts, LEGOs, coloring, Match Box cars, hair styles, science experiments, etc. I was so happy when we found out we were expecting Child # 2. But, once my son arrived, I was in SHOCK! It was TOTALLY DIFFERENT! Then add another Boy 18 mos later and you've got craziness! LOL!! I was NOT prepared for the differences between raising Girls and Boys --- and there IS a difference! While an earlier post mentions the idea of "doing girl things and enjoying them because I am a girl" makes total sense to me. I have struggled A LOT with the reality that I may not enjoy doing the things my Boys do --- dirt, snakes, StarWars continually, wrestling with each other even on the stairs!, Army men, color books where the lines DO NOT MATTER at all!! and I could go on continue for days. HOWEVER, I don't like or love them any less because they are boys and I'm a girl. And, I don't think sites or posts dedicated to 1 gender or the other are wrong. We do indeed have differences. I agree 110% that I think God did, for the most part, give each gender certain qualities for a reason. As a Girl, I am perfectly content with the fact that my husband mows the grass, fixes things around the house, and is protective when we are walking somewhere that might be a bit sketchy. Doesn't mean I can't do those things --- it's that I PREFER not to. Just as there are things I do and enjoy that he does not. He knows he could do them if needed, just as I could do his "jobs" if I needed to do so. BOYS are different from GIRLS. and GIRLS are different from BOYS. Doesn't make it wrong --- we have an expression around our house --- "Different doesn't make it wrong." We respect the fact that each person - female AND male - has the right to make his or her own choices. I LOVE your blog b/c -- just as you said -- it's a place where I can go and realize WE ARE NORMAL! LOL!! For all the care I took in NOT letter my boys see or watch guns early-on, they just inherently CHOSE to enjoy pretend guns and playing army. Who knew!?! As a Mom I have really struggled with "enjoying" my boys. What they find to be fun and entertaining is, many times, almost painful for me. But, I respect that they like different things than I do and, as a Mom, it's my job to encourage them in their interests and pursuits as they grow and form their identities. It's been a challenge --- and will continue to be so -- espec. since we're now entering Tween/Teen puberty time! (EEEKKKK!) and there'll be tons of stuff I don't "know" --- simply because I'm a Girl and they are Boys. But, I can still go embrace their personalities, likes and dislikes -- however different -- because if we didn't have differences, wouldn't the world be a rather boring place??? Variety makes the world go 'round, right?? PLEASE keep writing this blog and keep the name just as you have it. I think it's great! As my Daughter is now off at college --- I'm truly in "Boy World" with 2 Sons and a Husband. VERY DIFFERENT! But fun and entertaining each and every day!!!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR BLOG!!!! :-) I can't tell you how much I appreciate reading it!!! :-)
Sarah Jan 16, 2015
LOL, I can relate to being totally outnumbered! Thanks so much for your comment - I enjoyed your story!
Christy Young Jan 16, 2015
Thanks so much for your blog. What great ideas for boys. We love them. Sorry you get so much negative feedback. The virtual world is a surprisingly rough place. Thanks for helping to fill it with good.
nina Jan 16, 2015
I was searching, searching for a website like yours and am soooo thankful you share your experience and ideas with moms like me who had to LEARN how to "think like a boy". It's not until you have a boy that you truly see how so many things are directed and created for girls, and your website gave me a freedom to see that I really can be a creative and fun mom for boys. Knowing that girls can do all these tasks too, I still needed your 'boy' website that suits my family. AND I love this new learning personally for myself as well. Thank you!
Sarah Jan 16, 2015
I definitely had to learn to think like a boy also! It can be an adjustment! Thanks for your comment. :-)
Jess Connell Jan 20, 2015
That's a great point too… that so many women who grew up without brothers may be likely to think that the way boys think is "wrong"… it's what we see in the heavy-diagnosis-culture of American elementary schools that is medicating little boys at alarming rates for being BOY-like. Sites like yours, that embrace the explosions, physical play, curiosity, and ACTIVE nature of boys are a blessing!!
Soozoo Jan 16, 2015
Love your site, love this post, and love my boys. Keep on keepin' on, Sarah! There are too many people who just want to be offended by something. You're absolutely right that there are girly crafts and games everywhere. I'm happy this site is different. (But I do regret the post where you showed the yuck in the nooks and crannies of your toilet seat. Mostly because I felt compelled to peek into mine and the grossness there was inexplicable. How does boy pee get into completely sealed screw covers anyway?!?) At any rate, I love being my boys' mom, even if the unending, high volume sound effects do wear out my ears by the end of the day. I love to hear about your adventures with your boys, and your ideas are great when I need some inspiration. Thank you for all you do!
jin Jan 17, 2015
I am also deeply offended that clothes shops have separate sections for boys and girls.
This should be illegal!
Arin Jan 18, 2015
I for one am so glad you named this site "Frugal Fun for Boys" because I also have four boys (7 months to 7 years ) and was specifically looking for advice and ideas from a mom who might understand! Thank you so much for your blog. Keep up the great work!
Susan Jan 18, 2015
I Love your story! My daughter has 3 boys and one girl, the baby. As boys are, they love to wrestle and Edessa sees them and wants to join in. They let her but are SO gentle with her and treats her like a lady while they wrestle with her! God made a man and a woman and to try to say they are the same is insane! We need to embrace our differences! Thanks for sharing!
Susan Levy Jan 18, 2015
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I love how you said, Boys and girls are different, not unequal. One is not inferior to the other." I face the same comments as you on a daily basis because the products that I have created are made especially for boys. I never intended to offend anyone or exclude anyone. What I do know is that when it came to my son learning it was very different than my daughter so I created Abc learning tools that appealed to his sense of humor. I look forward to reading more from your blog and would love to share this on my blog. Let me know if that would be ok. You can check it out at: http://www.he-is-all-boy.com/category/blog/
Elizabeth Martinez Jan 19, 2015
I adore your courage and strength for posting this blog. I am a woman in the military and I grew up playing base ball, wearing jeans and hating pink. But I was also clearly very different from my brothers. I had a diary, I liked boys, and I had different feelings and outlooks than my brothers did. So many times I hear women in the military say "I can do anything a man can do." Of course they can. Woman are going to Ranger School! But admit it ladies you did train a lot harder that our male counterparts, becasuse well we don't have the same build, hormones and anatomy as men. Some things come natural and easier to men. No one is saying women can't do the same things as men, but obviously, clear to see with our eyes, God did make us differently. We tend feel and think differently due to our anatomy. We have different body parts. WE ARE DIFFERENT! I believe that whole heartedly as a Christian and I don't see anything wrong with that. God created men to guide and teach women in the way of God and even if women want to be single that's ok because they still have a male figure guiding them (God, our Lord Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit). Even if women do not have faith they still have to admit that although women and men are EQUAL, there are clear and obvious differences. God does not see women as inferior to men or the other way around. He sees us as his children and loves us EQUALLY. However, God intended for women to be different. Made from a man. Taken from his side. How would the world be if we were all the same? I'm sure it would not be as beautiful as it is if God only created men. If I ever become a mother I hope that I appreciate my children and their differences as well as you do. Thank you for the beautiful read.
Elizabeth Martinez Jan 19, 2015
because*
Jess Connell Jan 20, 2015
Wonderful comment to see! I grew up with a brother, all boys down the street, scraped my knees constantly, did debate, was on drumlins… all surrounded almost entirely by males. And yet… I'm not male. I'm still female. Different. Purposefully made that way by God. Different doesn't mean you can't do what a boy can, but it often means you will do it differently, or have different strengths/limitations as you try to do it.
JJ Jan 19, 2015
I just don't understand why the name of your blog bothers anyone! The name of a blog is supposed to clue one in as to what the blog contains. Your blog is full of frugal activities you have come up with for your boys. Gee, why wouldn't you call it Frugal Fun For Boys? In a world where there is soooooooo much out there for girls, it is so nice to have a space dedicated to the boys. I'm wondering how "those" people even find your blog? I found your blog when I was searching for a project for my BOYS. Do I get mad at the Mommy bloggers of all girls? Nope.
JJ
www.dressupnotdown.blogspot.com
Jessica Jan 23, 2015
I found your blog a couple of months ago when I was searching desperately for mind engaging activities for my 6 year old Kindergarten boy, the name of your blog drew me in right away. I love Pinterest and have come across soooo many fun, artsy, crafty, ideas to do, but most of them have just fallen flat... or he has turned the lovely art project into some sort of war zone where the medium, me, my kitchen, and himself need a thorough scrubbing! I grew up in a home of girls, and then God blessed me with three boys and no girls! I adore my boys, but I have had to adjust my thoughts on what is acceptable play and my teaching methods as well.
I write this just to encourage you and let you know that I appreciate your blog.
Jennifer Jan 23, 2015
I really liked this post. It sounds to familiar to me! I am a mom to 4 (going on 5) boys, and 2 girls. There are definitely differences between how my boys play and how my girls play. And I love those differences. Personally, I think its fun celebrate those differences. We have never pushed any gender specific stuff on any of them. On their own accord, my girls have always loved getting fancy with dresses and hair styles and nail polish etc and they tend strongly towards the more traditionally girly things, and my boys have always been drawn to wrestling, rough housing, weapons, etc, despite my being a very non weapons and wrestling kind of mom. I admit that being a mom to so many boys has forced me to stretch and grow in a slightly less natural way for me, and I have certainly had to get outside of my comfort zone, but I absolutely love it! I also love how even though they do play differently, they seem to appreciate their differences. My oldest, a son, has a very tender heart and spent a lot of time picking out the perfect necklace for his sister's birthday. He has no interest in jewelry for himself, but knew that she would love it. That was very touching to experience. I will be coming back to your blog frequently!
Laura Jan 27, 2015
I did not have time to read all the other comments, but I wanted to let you know that I loved this blog post! I am sure you here more negative comments than positive ones (lets face it, we're all busy and things that we approve of often get ignored while we complain vigorously when we dislike something) and I wanted to be sure I didn't stay silent when I know you have no desire to offend and every desire to help others families play with and teach their sons. Thank you so much for sharing and not getting discouraged when a few people disagree.
Sarah Jan 29, 2015
Thanks for the encouragement! :-)
Amanda Jan 31, 2015
I think that this is a concept that has been so " taught out " of us that many people TRULY do not believe that boy/girls are different until they experience it in a tangible way.
Andi Feb 16, 2015
I just discovered your site and love it. I am homeschooling my 6 kids. Their ages are 9, 7, 5, 3, 20 mo, 4 mo. My only girl is 20 mo. She wrestles with her brothers and can hold her own in the midst of the chaos we call home. She will also build tall block towers and drive toy trucks around the house. She does all this with her doll in one arm. While she is playing she will randomly come up to me wanting her hair done or her pretty shoes on. My boys are very protective and gentle with her.
I did not grow up with brothers, so all the things little boys do was a shock to me. I am still confused by many things my boys do, but my girl, I understand her.
YES! Boys and Girls are different.
sujata Apr 10, 2015
Hi Sarah, though I'm not regular but do keep hopping every now and then, always getting some great idea to enjoy with my daughter & son equally. I' mother to 12 & 7 yr daughters And 5 yr son. here i'ld like to share a nice incident, few days back me & my husband were discussing abt hiring employees in our office when my 7yr daughter 'Dhun' came in & asked what are we talking about? just for fun I responded, we're discussing who's better among boys and girls...............& she awed us by declaring "Mom-Dad, don't you know we all are blessed with similar brain, only difference is with physical appearance"
I agree with her.So it's up to a person's own perspective. Your site is boon to the people who look up for something that they enjoy with there kid irrespective of kid being a girl or a boy.
Delia Apr 10, 2015
Hi there, I agree with much of what you wrote. There's nothing wrong with boys and girls being different. I have one boy and one girl close in age, and I always find more activities and resources for girls than I do for boys. I read your blog because it is mainly directed toward boys and honestly it's needed. There's just not enough resources for boys anymore, as the goal for girls to succeed is taking off and that's good, but boys are being forgotten... There where no complaints in that regard. I at times wish things directed solely towards girls would be co-ed so both my kids can partake in the activities together, but that's never the case. At the every least this blog gives sisters the invitation to explore in their brothers play, and even on their own. Which girl only blogs or activities allow boys to do the same? I'm still in search of that answer...
On a brighter note: I love your blog!
Rosanne Apr 21, 2015
When you received the Facebook rant I thought the person who wrote it must not have children. Then you said she had 4 girls. IF she would have had at least one boy she would have seen that men and women, boys and girls are inherently different. It is not just genitalia. It is their genetics and the way they are wired. I am the mother of 4 boys and the grandmother of 2 boys and 3 girls. Boy and girls are different. They like to play with each others toys but they play differently with those toys.. Celebrate their differences and keep up the good work on your blog!
Sarah Apr 24, 2015
I agree - many of the strongest comments that I receive are from moms of only girls. Girls can be spunky, energetic, etc. and still be feminine - it doesn't make them boys! Thanks for the encouraging comment!
SONshine Shari Apr 26, 2015
I am a 70 year old former Hospital Clown named SONshine Shari teaching Spell to Write and Read.
I chose my name after prayer to honor my Jewish Lord and Savior Yeshua-Jesus Christ so I could share
HIS JOY when I was depressed, to people sicker than I...(0;
That's whats happened to our precious world...good is being turned evil and evil to good...indication of Papa God's timetable and time to look up often...ha,ha,heh.
I along with the others am SO grateful for your hard work and diligence to be a faithful mom and homeschooler
I desperately needed your website, and discovered it on Large Family Mothering.com with a mom homeschooling
15!!!. I needed BOTH OF YOU!!! I am currently driving hour and half round trip to tutor a Russian family English who have nine children with tenth on way. .They are loving, high energy, dedicated to each other, and exactly like you said. And I have been overwhelmed because of not knowing enough "boy" things to keep the four younger boys energy directed constructively. YOU are a GOD-send.!!! I feel sorry for your reader who has to reduce to profanity and rudeness because she doesn't know the beauty firsthand of a Creator Who had a plan that demonstrates His "HIS"tory and love as well as discipline as His children....which we'll be until eternity, just adult version down here.
Keep up the good work, SMILE and put your daily armor on. And remember from Dennis the Menius, (sp?) ...
YOU CAN'T SWIM IN MUD...(0;
Melanie Jul 1, 2015
I find it terribly sad that people cannot recognize the differences between girls and boys. I have 3 boys, and one girl (our youngest child). Before she came along, all I knew was boys. I was used to rough-and-tumble boy play. When we had our first little girl, it was amazing to see how different she was. There was an automatic nurturing there that was not learned, but just there automatically! From a small toddler, she would pick things up and momma them. She was way too young to have learned the behavior from anyone. I cannot help but wonder if people just don't want to believe that there are natural, God-given differences between boys and girls. To admit such, would be to admit that the Lord also gave us roles to perform that match our gender. To deny God-given gender roles, smacks of folks wanting to sooth their guilty conscience and make them feel better about their insistence that they do not have a duty or responsibility to rear their children and stay home with them. Keep you blog going - keep the name! :) They are not attacking you, but rather the God who made them. Guilt drives a person to do many a mean thing.
Margaret Jul 2, 2015
What I don't like is the attitude of many adults towards towards boys doing any activities considered 'girly'. For example if a girl wants to dress up as a lumberjack, lorrydriver or anything else considered 'manly' then most parents wouldn't mind, they would at worst label her a tomboy. If a boy however wants to dress up in princess gown and high heeled shoes his parents would likely be appalled, worried perhaps that he might get the less flattering label of Nancy boy. But why should it be so? I think a lot of the mindsets we have as adults influence how we react to children and too often this comes out worse for boys! Women may have won equal rights but little boys still need to fight for them!
Boyswillbeboys Jul 14, 2015
I love and agree with everything you said in this article, and I think it took courage to write it! Thank you for all of your great activities for boys (and their sisters!) and for sharing them with us! Our youngest is a boy and he has four sisters ahead of him..but he is all boy! Your site gives him lots of ideas when he needs to esccape for a little while! Keep up the good work, and thanks again!
Sarah Jul 14, 2015
Thank you for your kind comment!
Kim Dec 31, 2015
Just read this! I have six boys and six girls. I can tell you they are nothing alike. They have different needs, dreams and overall outlook on life. I don't care how many dolls you buy a boy, testosterone will kick in at some point. I don't care how many engineering projects you give your daughter, she is still a girl and everything wonderful that entails. They complement each other just the way God intended. My boys cannot sit still for anything and are very loud. My girls are more nurturing and organized (thanks be to God). That does not mean that my older son cannot put dinner on the table and run the washer. That does not mean that my daughters cannot check the oil in a car, mow and weed-eat the lawn. But it does mean that when I have something extremely heavy to move, I am calling on my sons to get the job done!!! If I have a sick little one and need to leave, I leave my daughter in charge because she is naturally better at it. I love them equally but have to treat them differently. Call me a bad mom but I love this sight because it caters to boys and how they operate! Thanks
Heather Jan 20, 2016
Couldn't agree more! Keep up the good work :)
Magdari Jan 20, 2016
I agree! When my boy and my friend's girl was 3, they would play with Duplo. My boy would BUILD stuff, the girl played with the animals and prople figures. They practically grew up together.
They are ingerently different. That is how we were created.
Melanie Mar 24, 2016
Amen!!!
John Disher Jan 26, 2019
I wish we didn't need to be SO politically correct that we aren't allowed to recognise that there is ACTUALLY a difference between the sexes. Don't discriminate for no reason - but the physical differences may make one applicant for a job more suitable than another. I might be less inclined to employ a lady as a hod-carrier then a man due to the ASSUMPTION that she may be less good at climbing a ladder four storeys with a hod of bricks than a man. I would make no such assumption about employing her as a computer programmer because physical strength is not an issue in that case. DON'T DISCRIMINATE BUT ALLOW US TO RECOGNISE THE DIFFERENCES! (Some differences are good!).
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