So, I haven’t been blogging much lately! Morning sickness has been getting the best of me lately, and not much interesting is going on at our house, unless you count sibling fighting, which has been pretty much constant…
Back in December, I blogged about sibling fighting here and here, but I have a couple new thoughts to add on the issue of tattling. Actually, they’re my wise husband’s thoughts!
Jordan read 1 Corinthians 13 to the boys, and talked to them about what love is. Love is not provoked and does not take into account a wrong suffered (vs. 5) Love also does not rejoice in unrighteousness (vs. 6). Tattling goes against both of those things. Tattling is usually slander (speaking about a person in a way designed to make others think negatively of them, because we want to get back at them for what they did) and often is rejoicing in unrighteousness (taking pleasure in another person being punished for their sin).
There is a world of difference between tattling versus coming to Mom or Dad for help in resolving a conflict. The first is a complaint, the second is a request.
We have found that our children respond much better when confronted with God’s Word rather than just Mom and Dad’s words. Tattling can really drive a person crazy, but our being fed up is not a good reason for our children to stop tattling! Obedience to God’s way is a good reason. And God’s Word is powerful to change hearts (Heb 4:12).
Are your kids struggling with conflict now that school is out and there’s less to do? How are you handling increased fighting?
3 Comments
Renita Jul 10, 2011
This is a great perspective for dealing with bickering! Thanks for the reminder to turn the kiddos' focus to pleasing and obeying God.
Summer Aug 6, 2011
I couldn't agree more. I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old and we have lots of tattling going on around here. I will have to put this idea to use the next time it occurs.
I too have found that turning my kids to God's Word is much more powerful for influencing their unwanted behavior.
Thanks for the bible lesson!
Amber Sep 11, 2014
I just wrote a post today on my little girls squabbling! Then someone on facebook linked to one of your sibling squabble posts and I had so much fun reading all of them. This is the post that I wrote: http://exploreimaginelove.wordpress.com/2014/09/11/what-are-you-teaching-your-sister/ I was noticing that my two year old is so much more argumentative and aggressive than my older daughter was at that age, and I think it's maybe partly her personality but mostly because my older daughter is teaching her to act like that...which inspired the rest of the post.
Regarding tattling...my kids aren't old enough to try it yet...but we have really awesome mentors who told us that when their kids were little they had a rule where if one sibling did something, the other sibling would say, "that's not ok, you need to go tell on yourself." If the first sibling told on himself, then the consequences would be less than if the second sibling had to tattle. I like this idea for a lot of reasons, mostly that it cuts down on tattling (slandering, as you said) and they learn to take responsibility for themselves and admit to their mistakes.
Love your blog :-)
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