Right now, at this moment, my house is completely quiet. Well, except for the crickets chirping in the little cage that Gresham keeps them in until he feeds them to his pet bearded dragon. Three of the boys are at the hardware store with Dad, and Jonathan and Janie are napping. The washing machine has stopped it’s eternal whirring, for the moment, and everything is peaceful.
I’ve learned to embrace the rare moments of peaceful. Because five months ago, we joined the ranks of “crazy” in the opinion of most Americans as we welcomed our fifth baby into the world.
What is it like having five children?
Are we still sane? Are we surviving with no down time, no time for fun, and all of our paychecks going to the grocery store and the electric bill?
Well…
Having five is a lot.
There are a lot of needs, a lot of fights, and a lot of noise. There is a lot of laundry. A LOT of laundry. And instead of looking like something out of Pinterest (because all the money for cute home decor goes to groceries, remember), my laundry room looks like this:
But it also looks like this:
And I wouldn’t trade my happy (most of the time) helpers for all the beautiful laundry rooms on Pinterest. (Although I am actually hoping to paint this room next week!)
You see, life is messy.
And lots of lives in one house means lots of mess. We have a lot of dishes and a lot of spills and a lot of work to do just to take care of the aftermath of dinner. And dinner is only one event out of the day, which means that you can imagine a large dinner mess and then multiply it by ten to understand what we clean up on any given day.
Then there’s the emotional mess. We have a lot of fights and a lot of tears and a lot of problems to sort out. My husband and I have to do a lot of shepherding and a lot of teaching and a lot of counseling and a lot of instructing people who don’t want to listen. And a lot of praying and a lot of wondering if we are even doing the right thing at all or just making things worse.
Life is a challenge, and the more life you have in your house, the greater the challenges are.
But the thing is… life is also a beautiful gift from God.
The hard things are hard but the beautiful ones are indescribable.
The joy of new life…
The first cry of a newborn never lost it’s wonder despite having five of them. In fact, it became sweeter and more precious because we knew just how fleeting those baby days are.
We fell in love with having babies.
And with celebrating milestones,
And new accomplishments,
And laughter (because everything is funnier with more people laughing),
And new relationships.
And along the way, we are learning (and reminding ourselves on the hectic days, which is all of them) that it often takes many hard moments (and actually mostly God’s grace) to learn that the best things in life are not a lack of interruptions or a lack of mess or a lack of frustrations, but the people that God has given you to share the journey with.
And we are learning that a parent’s love does not run out when you add more children. Love is not a substance that can be used up. Instead, it multiplies as it is shared between more family members.
(Yes, I know I used this photo in another post. I can’t help it, it’s my favorite!)
I’m not going to lie. Sometimes it’s really hard. Sometimes I feel like there is not enough of me to go around, but we hang in there and it’s okay. Some days I would love to have extra money to just buy new jeans for myself, and I don’t because the kids need new shoes. Because they have grown. Again. But to all of you who see us sitting near you in a restaurant and think, “Oh my, those poor people have five children! And look at ALL those boys! I wonder if they know what causes that?” I just want to say this: Don’t feel sorry for us because we had to get up 47 times during the meal to get more napkins and refill a drink and another drink and another drink and change the toddler’s clothes because he spilled his. You might wonder how we could possibly be happy in all that chaos, but happiness truly has nothing to do with how many beverages we have spilled in public places.
You might wonder how we can afford to have so many children in today’s economy and wonder if our kids are missing out because they are not able to be enrolled in six activities each (they’re not) and if they hate having to share rooms (they don’t) and wear handed down clothes (they actually don’t mind it at all – they’ve never known any different).
You might wonder if five is an ideal family size, because it’s an odd number, and everyone knows that odd numbers are difficult. Someone is going to be left out and scarred for life. And to that question I would tell you that the perfect family size is the one that God gives to you because He knows what is best for each family.
You might wonder how we possibly get it all done, and the truth is that we don’t. We make decisions about what is most important and do those things. And often what we thought was the most important is trumped by a sick child or a flooded bathroom or syrup all over the dog. And that’s okay because God’s grace has never, ever failed to be sufficient.
So don’t feel sorry for us at all.
I’d say we are actually the most blessed people in the world.
68 Comments
Lori-Anne Oct 5, 2014
as a mother of five, this touched me. Thanks! :)
Julie R. Oct 5, 2014
Beautiful, just beautiful! Thank you for sharing.
Ana Oct 5, 2014
Lovely post! Thanks for sharing this!
Taneil Lawton Oct 5, 2014
Yep, yep, yep...great post, very true. Can't wait till you can say this all again with seven children while one is going through puberty ;-)
Thanks for reminding of us all the little blessings.
Terri F. Oct 5, 2014
I'm the mother of 4 children who are now all grown. I look back so fondly on the chaos and mayhem we lived with while everyone was growing up. I loved each phase of their lives, and yet somehow the next stage was always better than the one before it. Now my children are wonderful adults, great friends to one another (even though sometimes I wondered if they'd make it out of childhood alive!) with amazing spouses and this is the best stage of all! I never take my blessing for granted!
Ami Oct 5, 2014
Amen, Sarah! Our 4th has brought us to a whole new level of crazy, but we wouldn't go back to the way it was for anything in the world.
Hannah H. Oct 6, 2014
I feel like you took the words right out of my mouth - I completely agree with all you have said. Our fifth just turned a year old and it all keeps getting better!
Angie Oct 6, 2014
Yep! I agree! :) We are blessed....and watching those 5 blessing grow and become all that God desires for them is SUCH an ADVENTURE!! :) I wouldn't trade it for the world. Love you guys - miss you - thanks for the pictures!
Rebecca Oct 6, 2014
yes!! I love it!! I am mother to 4 boys 1 girl too:) except reverse- girl is our oldest:)! And included with all of the work is to get "school' done as well. We homeschool too. Ages 11 to 15 months. We love it ! I tell my husband I wouldn't trade places with anyone:)
God bless you all! I enjoy your posts!!! Thanks:)!!!
Tina Oct 6, 2014
We have 4 boys and 1 girl, as well. Last week, I was speaking with a family member who I'm pretty sure thinks we're crazy for having such a ALL THOSE kids. I told her that the kids are actually asking for another baby sister now that there's is 2 months old. Her response, "I hope they still feel that way when they're teenagers", because obviously they can't possibly be happy if they aren't each driving their own car or playing 4 different sports and wearing designer clothes. Thank you for letting me know that we're not alone in feeling blessed with our crazy, chaotic life :)
Pauline Oct 7, 2014
What a blessed and full life! xo P
Julie Oct 7, 2014
Beautifully said, Sarah.
Renae Oct 7, 2014
I LOVE this! Thanks for writing it!
Jacquie Oct 8, 2014
haha! syrup on the dog - I only have two and that still happens (but it's usually the dogs fault ;) Such a great post -- I think as a parent, you learn how to juggle life so your kids grow up knowing they are loved, cared for and feel connected. They don't see the messy and tired and crazy as much as we do (thankfully!) -- and I love seeing the pictures of your kids as they are growing up!
Heather Oct 8, 2014
adorable! love your family!!
Laura H Oct 8, 2014
Love the post. I have five children, 2 boys and 3 girls. Our oldest boys name is Grisham :) It is so nice to hear other peoples story about their chaotic life with a large family. It makes me smile and know that I am not alone. Too many people out there with negative opinions (which they are not afraid to share) on larger families.
Debs Oct 9, 2014
Gorgeous post. Sounds like a happy life :)
Anna@The Measured Mom Oct 10, 2014
I just loved this! This is our life in almost every way. Five kids is crazy, no question. And I cannot believe how that laundry multiplies. But our kids love to be together (when they're not fighting!), they are CRAZY about their baby sister.... and I know just what you mean... "we fell in love with having babies."
Jenae Oct 10, 2014
This is beautiful, Sarah! Thank you so much for sharing!
Laura Oct 10, 2014
Beautiful! It brought tears to my eyes and touched a chord in my heart. As a mother of five boys and two girls aged 1 to 14, I could relate to everything you shared. Thanks for pushing the reset button for me. It is so good to see the beauty of God coming out in our everyday situations that are sometimes very challenging. (Such as the preschoolers shopping in my refrigerator and loading the things into their wagon and taking it all to the end of the driveway!) And yes, I love having babies too and am looking forward to the next one, Lord willing. God bless you.
Kaitlyn Oct 10, 2014
I love this. I'm a mom of three boys, my oldest is 5, the middle child is 2 & my baby is 6 months. Crazy enough I want more kids {my husband is on the fence about that thou}! Life is crazy here everyday. Someone is always crying, fighting, laughing & I truly forget what a hot meal taste like but I love it! Reading your story makes me feel so much better. Thank you for sharing :)
Peggy Oct 10, 2014
Wonderful post! Thank you for describing all the chaotic things about life with kids so perfectly and reminding me of the blessings and joys too!!!
Jennifer Coop Oct 11, 2014
My husband and I have a combined total of 14 children. (4 are grown and on their own. 3 are step children from previous marriages that we still consider our children and a part of our family. They live with their moms but are at our house just as much. So that leaves us with 9 children in our home. They are ages: 15, 15, 7, 4, 3, 1 and 11 months!) I loved the pictures of your laundry room. I get a little discouraged when I have an opportunity to get on Pinterest and I see photos of beautiful and organized laundry rooms, bathrooms, bedrooms, living rooms, kitchens and the list goes on and let's not even talk about all the snack crumbs in my van...lol. I often wonder if my house will be beautifully organized again. When I start putting things back into perspective and reality (and pull myself out of the clouds of Pinterest land) I think about all the fun memories I am creating with my children. I dont want to spend the entire night cleaning so we have a perfect house all of the time. I love reading books to my children before bed. Sometimes that means I have to put cleaning on hold so I have time to create those lasting moments...those forever moments. I also hope when they look back on their childhood they will remember those times when we read books before bed, played outside as a family after dinner instead of spending the evening in the kitchen cleaning up, watching a movie as a family and talking about our day. I hope they won't remember how messy our house can get at times. So that's my hope. When I find myself feeling defeated at the end of the day about everything that didn't get done, I think about everything the kids and I did get done. That makes me smile because when my children are all grown up and out on their own, my husband and I will be sitting in our finally organized and clean house thinking about all of those special and memorable moments we spent with our kids. Our life is crazy for sure but my husband and I wouldn't change it for the world. Those of us with big families gotta love the remarks of "don't you know what causes this". I just smile and tell them how much we love our crazy life. It keeps us young. They will never understand the rewards we reap from having a big family. Thanks for this article. This is just the encouragement I needed to keep trucking along in this journey we call life.
Mindy Oct 11, 2014
I'm smiling all the way down as I'm reading this. You have a beautiful faith, perspective and family and His presence is obvious in the parenting you pursue.
Malia {Playdough to Plato} Oct 13, 2014
What a beautiful post, Sarah!!
Sarah Oct 20, 2014
Thank you all for all of your comments on this post! I wish that I had time to respond to each one! :-)
Kit Oct 20, 2014
We just welcomed our fifth boy (this side of eternity) on 10/3. I'm so totally there with you! I call them "my minions" and the house is "chaos central" or "life in the locker room"! We are deeply blessed with our craziness!
Katie Oct 20, 2014
I just had my 6th...she's 2.5 mon and we couldn't be happier. My life is non-stop crazy right now but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Julie Oct 21, 2014
I could not have put it any better myself! I cannot tell you how many times a week I hear "Oh, wow, I feel so bad for you", or "I don't know how you do it" or, YES, people have actually said, to my husband-with me there...."I feel so bad for your wife"!!!! I hate all of those comments. We JUST DO IT....that's how. It IS stressful at times. It IS hard at times. Our pockets ARE empty most of the time. BUT, don't "feel sorry" for me. I LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT. And, yes, I DO KNOW HOW "THAT" HAPPENS! haha Great article!
Kayla Oct 21, 2014
We have 4, ages 8-1. Our situation is also unique in that we adopted three of our kids so while we have an 8 year old, we have not been parents for 8 years. Rather, we first became parents in 2009. So 4 kids in 5 1/2 years. It is crazy around here sometimes. Well...most of the time. Sometimes I wonder if we can do it. And other times, I find myself in a place just like the place this post speaks about, a place where we are blessed. So this is a great reminder for those other times, where I wonder if we can do it.
Melissa H Dec 19, 2014
This is beautiful. I just found your blog today. Wonderful activities for boys, love the posts and creativity yet simplicity. :D I babysit children at church and am always looking for things to do esp with active boys. Usually I play lots of games but tonight we are doing our first craft.
KMB Sep 21, 2015
PG with number 5 right now, I searched "five kids" on Pinterest just to see what would come up and I was so glad to see this post. Thank you! I already feel and hear most of those things with 4, I didn't know if 5 would push me over the edge. Thank you! And our laundry rooms are doppelgängers!
Holly Saylor Jan 25, 2016
As a mom of 6 thank you for that article! It was very touching to hear these things :)
Kelcey Jan 27, 2016
I love this. As a mom of 5 (who never planned to have 5 kids) I wouldn't trade a single moment. Ok, a few moments. But a large family is an amazing blessing. And through the yelling and the chaos and the laughter, my children are learning to be self sufficient and pitch in and love. Great post.
Jelli Feb 18, 2016
What a beautiful post! My husband and I have three kids (4,2, and 5 months) and though I've said that my body won't handle another pregnancy, I'm reconsidering, plus the fact that we've talked about adopting from before the time we ever had babies. It's so nice to see what life is like for you and to know that God takes care of our families despite the size. In fact, when my first child was born a wise woman told me that God always provides for new babies. We weren't broke, but we certainly weren't economically well-off at the time, but she was right. He gave us everything we needed and more to care for our first child, second, and now with our third.
Ashley Feb 25, 2016
Thank you!!!! I also have 5 gifts from God and the ugly looks and comments amaze me. People's attitudes about my life that they have absolutely no part of astounds me. It is no longer wonderful to have so many but a burden. It's really sad. People have
Briana Hatcher Mar 7, 2016
I am due with my 5th boy in May. Thank you for this post.
Louise Collis May 7, 2016
Thank you thank you thank you!!!! I am a mother of three boys and fed up of the comments about them being unruly and about my discipline!!!! So nice to know I'm not the only one who loves the noise and the fun of boys!!!
I have comments about how well behaved they are and how lovely but the bad comments always sting and stay for a longer time in my head! This was truly refreshing to hear so thank you again!!
Erika May 9, 2016
I want to say thank you. I have four children and I am having my fifth. Most days I struggle to relate to others and fight off the judgment by most and it was really nice to read this and feel relief . That I can relate to someone and you reminded me not to get caught up in all the crap and enjoy being grateful for what God has given me ! Best wishes for you and your family!!!
Adam May 9, 2016
Sarah, thank you for this article. Most parents who are on the "other side of crazy" won't get why or how you can say all the things you just have. My wife and I are 10 months into our fab five phase! and love it. I amen'd something in nearly every paragraph. There are dynamics and synergy in large families that smaller ones will never know. My wife tagged me when she shared this article and I wanted to thank you for taking the time to write and publish it. My wife being a super mom herself (full-time mommy) finds herself overwhelmed and discouraged often when the kids are fighting and the house is not sparkling. I know she breaths a sigh of relief reading this and knowing there are other moms who share her confoundings as well as joys.
Don't know why, but it looks like that I'm the only dad who has commented on your article. I wish more fathers/husbands would read these sorts of things so they could better understand the perspectives of their wives. I know to have a large family, a father cannot so easily be so passive and must be an active force within the family unit. I just wish that force was a bit more vocal. Anyway, thanks for your thoughts. I enjoyed them.
Sarah May 11, 2016
That is SO true! I could not do it without my husband being willing to go over math homework and fold laundry! Like you said, we knew it would never work to have a large(ish) family unless we were both on board with all the work.
Bethany May 9, 2016
Just read this reposting, and had to tell you, we have four boys, so I know much of what you experience. My oldest will graduate from college this weekend. How time can pass by so swiftly!
It is amazing how many people feel that any family with more than 2 children is LARGE. Four is not a large number, in my opinion. My sister has 7! It means that more sharing must go on, more sacrifices must be made, but also more love abounds. (And thank the Lord he has always provided us with a home with two bathrooms!)
My boys also shared rooms, wore hand-me-downs, joined only the rec soccer league for a couple of years until they were old enough for the school soccer team, and did not get to go to the ice cream truck every time it came down the street unless they themselves had saved their allowance, because they knew mom wasn't shelling out money for treats. (Actually, one summer I purchased big boxes of ice cream treats at Sam's Club and let them buy them from me for 30 cents, a slim profit margin for me but it taught them how over-priced some things in life are, and if you are astute, you can get the good stuff reasonably. Also, you needed to wait until Mom had gone to Sam's and not spend the extra money just to obtain instant gratification.)
I've been enjoying your posts. Wish Pinterest and all the ideas on the Internet had been available when my boys were smaller. God bless your family, and I will keep you in my prayers.
Sarah May 11, 2016
Love your comment! And that's a SMART idea about buying treats at Sam's and letting the kids buy them with their allowance! Our ice cream truck is also very over-priced, and we never get any. My kids would love this idea!
Kitty. H May 9, 2016
There is no measure to a person's love for another and as a mother of 5 I can truly say that there is more of it (love) to go around. My eldest is now 26 (male), then 24 (male), then 20 (female) and the youngest two (twins) are 14 so there have been many distructive moments as there has being pleasant throughout the years...all of which I wouldn't trade for anything.
Helen Head May 11, 2016
As the mother of & in 10 years I can relate to all and wish I could do it again. God has blessed me and my children wqith a great husband and father whom we lost when my youngest was just 23 years old but thankful that he saw them asll grow up and have children of their own. There have been many more since then but we have been blessed with another good man and who took over as a great grandfather to them. God has truly blessed me with their love and many trials and hardships but he brings us thru themWe also lost our eldest son to a hjeart attrack and he was the father of 8 who all are christians to the lords glory. God bless you for your article. May many more read it ad gain courage and hope from it Love Helen
Sarah May 11, 2016
What a neat family story and a testimony to God's goodness even in trials! Thank you so much for your kind comment!
Kathy Jun 23, 2016
Thank you so much for sharing this! I loved it.
Google Maps Street View Aug 9, 2016
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movie4k.to Dec 15, 2016
Truly an amazing post.I really like it.Thanks for sharing with us.
Liz H Jan 16, 2017
I so needed this today. We have 4 kids ages 6 and under. We took them to the museum and cosco today which reminded me how crazy I feel sometimes. We've been pondering the 5th and this made me feel so calm, so thank you. Best of luck to you and your lovelies.
Karissa Jan 17, 2017
This is so lovely!
We are a family with five girls ages 2-9 & we're about to welcome our sixth, a boy. (poor kid! ?)
This captures so well how I feel.
Kyrie Jan 17, 2017
As a mother of 5 myself, I completely relate to this! I am blessed with 4 girls and 1 boy, life is noise, messy, hectic and at times, harrowing but I wouldn't change it for the world.
Monica Nelson Jan 17, 2017
I am in awe over this post. I too have five little blessings. 4 boys and a girl. My youngest is also the girl. I feel the same as you and want you to know your not alone. Isn't it a crazy sort of blessing having a big family.
Kristi Jan 17, 2017
We raised 7 sons and wouldn't change a thing. Wish they were little again!
bottle flip Mar 29, 2017
I want to be on the top. To be able to survive in this harsh life thank :
Michelle May 29, 2017
Last week I found out that I am expecting my fifth child. I am nervous and worried about the addition. I already get annoyed with the looks and remarks about having four kids. However I am excited. Reading your post made me feel a lot better. We to have fallen in love with having babies.
Rose Jun 10, 2017
I'm soon to be a mother of 5 and while others frown or go oh wow I'm secretly blessed and awaiting the chaos when our new bubs arrives in September thank you for the reminder of not having to be perfect
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Bethany Rinn Nov 2, 2017
This made me tear up!
Becky Nov 14, 2017
This post was inspiring. God bless your family.
Feath Mar 19, 2018
THANKS
This Mom of 4 needed this.
Yes...my laundry is out of control.
We homeschool and my house is a mess.
We have outgrown our house..
I am blessed with my kiddos
Liz Apr 20, 2018
Thank you! I needed this and will probably need a lot more to keep me going. I have 4 boys and I’m pregnant with my 5th child. Life is already so much work for all the reasons you mentioned. I’m worried that there won’t be enough of me. But I can’t imagine my life any other way!
Les May 16, 2018
We welcomed or fifth, a little girl after four boys, six months ago and I often wonder if the chaos in our house is normal or just us. Thank you for telling reality of this post and the reminder of the beauty in it all.
Melissa Oct 15, 2018
I have five children as well, and I must say you summed it up perfectly. I would not change what I have for anything. My kids bring me inexpressible joy. At times I do feel stretched thin, but those moments never last, and I’m always brought back quickly as to why we decided to have the kids we do. Simply put, they are our sunshines.
Great article! Thanks.
Amanda Oct 17, 2018
Sitting in the waiting room for my first OB appointment with my 5th (surprise) baby. This was exactly what I needed to read today ❤️
Jaycie Nov 18, 2018
I have 4 daughters. They are 13, 9, 4 and 8 months and another baby on the way! The cricket s made me laugh! My second oldest daughter had pet toads ? I loved it! Laundry is endless. Our laundry room is the same way there is so much truth in this article! We don't have the American cookie cutter family but for me I embrace the chaos because with it come so much love! We were blessed to have children ♥️
Marle Apr 24, 2019
I realize this is an older post, but what a blessing! We are thinking about baby nr 4 to join oilur beautiful 3 little girls. I'm scared of the chaos and going through pregnancy and the first year with so many other kids at home full time(we Homeschool), but there is a reason for wanting another baby and I'm trusting God to guide us.
Gabriella May 15, 2019
I am also a mom of 5 kids, ages 12,11,8,4 and 1 1/2, I also recently have my boyfriend's son sleeping over with my kids so yes my step son to be, so that's 6 in total. I must say having five kids is a joy for me because I grew up in a large family of 9 kids step brothers and stepsisters plus my biological brothers and it has been a blast......Now after so many years of being back and forth with my husband...I finally let him go and I stayed by myself until my boyfriend found me.....We are both divorcees and we look forward to raising 6 kids together...maybe the number might increase, but not so soon...we want baby to become independent and start school. From experience, as children get older, they see life differently from you and I, sometimes when you least expect it my eldest child would surprise me by cleaning the entire home and even cooking a meal....but the thing is, he always gets the younger ones to chip in without so much as a quarrel....its times like these I smile with myself and give myself a pat on the back...because maybe I am doing something right..great even. Happy to know that I am not alone with having alot of kids in this mordern time...and yes...we do get scorned and those weird looks from individuals who know nothing about the bliss amongst our super busy life. I wish nothing but God's favor upon your life.
Linda Stevens May 11, 2021
Sarah, YOUR heart blessed MY heart this morning!
Sunita Jul 21, 2021
As a mother of 5 girls 8 years being the oldest, 11 months the youngest and a set of twins in the mix..I can completely relate to this!
Keziah Feb 16, 2022
I have 4 siblings and this is EXACTLY what life was like back when i was a kid!
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