I want to add a couple more thoughts to yesterday’s post “A Reminder to Myself: Don’t Coddle Your Boys.

First, Sheri commented on yesterday’s post that prayer is so important! I meant to include that in the original post and forgot! True, and so very important. Without the work of God in their hearts, my boys can not honor Him! We’re responsible for how we parent, but ultimately, God is the one who changes hearts!

Then I wanted to show you this picture:

It looks like one of Owen’s messes…

It was Owen (age 3), but he was actually being very sweet. I was making lunch (egg sandwiches) and trying to unload the dishwasher while the eggs were cooking. Owen was sitting on a step stool in the kitchen, and the older two boys were at VBS. Owen said, “Oh! I can put away the spoons in here!”

Then, he proceeded to carefully transfer each piece of silverware from the dishwasher to the drawer. He’s not tall enough to see into the drawer, hence the mess. Since I had just been writing yesterday’s post and thinking about issues of responsibility, I realized that my typical response would unfortunately have been to ask Owen to stop because he was just making a mess. Thankfully, God gave me the grace to thank him for his hard work!

And finally, a friend of mine gave me permission to share something about her son that I thought was so encouraging. Her college-aged son had been working two jobs to pay the family’s mortgage because her husband was out of work. She felt awful about him having to work so many hours and giving up so much of his money, until she realized that this trial was allowed by God for the spiritual benefit of the whole family, including her son. We may feel like shielding our sons from hard things (and at times, we may need to). But I think that we need to be aware that God often has very precious lessons in store for our boys in the midst of circumstances that we would not pick for them. Character development often requires trials. And isn’t that true for ourselves as well as our children…

Thanks for all your comments on these posts!


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  1. Brianne Jul 17, 2012

    Thank you for this post and the one yesterday. Sometimes it is a challenge to raise boys and I think its even more of a challenge to not coddle them. Eventhough its easier to do things myself I must remember to give my little man more responsibility.


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