Lately, I’ve been thinking about all the comments we get when we go out, and we only have three kids!!  Somehow, though, all of them being boys brings out the comments in people (although, I’m sure that people say obnoxious things to all types of families…).

“WOW, 3 boys!  You must be really busy!”

“All boys!  Are you going to try for a girl?”

“I bet that’s a lot of work – having all boys!”

Yes, my life is a lot of work, but it’s not as horrific as people imagine it to be, and if we have another baby, it will not be because we are “trying for a girl.”

Not everyone says these kinds of things –  this week, we were in Target and got a very pleasant comment, “Oh, you have three boys in your family, just like ours!  Isn’t it so fun!  How old are your boys?”  It turned out that our three boys were exactly the same age as this mom’s three boys!  Then we compared names, but no matching there.

Boys are a Blessing, Not a Burden!

I’m sure that 90% of the time, these people are simply talking without thinking, but the underlying idea is that little boys are a burden to their mothers, and it gets a little tiring having my sons hear this on a regular basis!

In reality, boys are a blessing.

It’s not because they never get dirty.  It’s not because they always remember to use a tissue instead of their shirt and to use an inside voice.

It’s because God has made them a blessing. When God says that “Children are a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3),” He didn’t just mean sweet little newborns wrapped up in hospital blankets. Oh yes, newborns are wonderful. But this verse doesn’t stop being true for the 3-year-old who is putting a hole in the drywall with the doorknob because he is mad.

The key to success is learning the correct definition of “blessing.” Blessing does not mean “easy.”  It does not mean things always going the way we want.

I think that there are two ways that God has made boys a blessing.  I’m sure that I have a lot more to learn on this topic, but here are my thoughts so far:

1.  Boys are part of God’s common blessing to all of man.  Things like the joy over finding a toad in the yard.  Watching a nest of baby birds in the backyard.  Learning to ride a bike without training wheels.  A freshly bathed toddler in footie jammies. Freshly picked dandelions wilting on my table.

Last night, Aidan was lying on the couch with a fever, and so I let Gresham walk Tucker (the puppy) all by himself.  I was pushing Owen in the stroller, and I fully expected to have to rescue Tucker several times, but Gresham did great!  He kept saying along the way, “I’m four now.  I’m walking Tucker all by myself ‘sinced’ I’m four.”  He kept stopping every two houses or so to gently untangle Tucker’s legs from the leash.  It was a sweet moment.

And then there are moments that are not so sweet, which brings me to reason #2.

2.  Boys are a blessing because God uses them to sanctify us as moms and make us more like Christ.

Last year was a difficult year for our family for many reasons.  In the midst of some trials, I began studying patience. I realized that I had been thinking about patience in sort of a superficial way.  Patience is not saying, “These boys are so messy and high energy and impulsive, but today I am going to use all the willpower I have to not let them get the best of me!”  Patience is much deeper than that.  Patience is a fruit of the Spirit enabling us to endure in a difficult situation.  It is not acting impulsively.  It is not looking for a quick fix.  It is resting in God’s strength to respond the way that He wants us to in every situation in our homes.

I can either view my boys as a burden and yell and get worked up when they act like boys, or I can take each challenge as an opportunity to practice responding in a godly way.

Over the past week, my husband had surgery and all three of my children were sick.  We definitely had our moments.  But we also had some moments when I was able to look past the toys all over the floor and the baby putting his hands in the toilet and focus on loving my boys and my husband and honoring God in our family.  That is real blessing.  When the circumstances of life can’t touch your peace.

Am I blessed with all boys?  I’d say I am absolutely blessed.

How are your boys a blessing to you?

18 Comments

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  1. Amy Oct 13, 2010

    Well, I have all girls, and I get the same comments. It drives me crazy, because I DO want a fourth (and don't get me wrong, I love boys), and I would love baby to be a girl. On that same note, a sweet little boy would be just as loved, but oh how spoiled he would be!

    You are so right... children ARE a blessing. Unfortunately, not everyone sees them as this.

    Great post!

    -Amy

    Reply
    1. Marcia Oct 13, 2010

      I absolutely loved this post. You're a great writer, Sarah! I'm looking forward to some toad-catching with my own little nephew, Lord willing. :)

      Marcia

      Reply
      1. Liz Oct 13, 2010

        Such a great post. I will be sure to think more before I speak in the future. My comments are usually borne out of admiration for parents who take their vocation as parents seriously, but also joyfully. I am humbled by parents (like you and Jordan) who are committed to rearing Christian men and women.

        Reply
        1. Ami Oct 13, 2010

          Boy, oh boy, do I ever get such comments with my little men in tow! Two of the greatest blessings I find in my boys: 1. Boys love their mommy! 2. They make me laugh.

          Reply
          1. Marissa Oct 14, 2010

            Well, I just found you site today and I have to say I believe this is why. I have four boys and I think I get every comment that you mentioned above. I just smile at them and say yes it is busy but a boat load of fun. If they are really being annoying I just tell them I homeschool them too! I love the shock on the faces. I have fun with it. I love being a mom to my four boys. I love raising them up to be the men that God intends them to be.
            Be blessed!

            Reply
            1. Rachel Oct 14, 2010

              I love #2, not only do kids bring joy into our lives, but they are also tools God uses to show us our true condition and our need for a Savior! Thanks for the reminder.

              Reply
              1. Katie Oct 15, 2010

                Just found your site and looking forward to reading along! I have one year old boy/girl twins and another boy due any day now!

                When people see me out with my twins and my big belly, this is the comment we always get, "You're going to have your hands full!"

                Oy, I'm so over it! I know people mean well, but gees. ONE lady once said, "Oh how much fun you're going to have!" It was so nice to have a positive comment for once!

                Reply
                1. Unplanned COoking Oct 16, 2010

                  Great post. I don't think boys are a burden at all. I LOVE my boys! We do have a little girl now, and I do notice she is different (she likes to be near me, where my boys took off running to explore). But both sexes bring me indescribable joy - just different ones.

                  Reply
                  1. Candra Georgi Oct 19, 2010

                    I have three boys [under 4]. They are a blessing! I get the same comment, but RARELY a day goes by that I don't hear...

                    "you sure do have your hands full"

                    ha ha

                    Started following you! Look forward to reading your blog!

                    Reply
                    1. tracylynne Oct 21, 2010

                      New reader-just found your blog, I loved your response to patience. "Patience is much deeper than that. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit enabling us to endure in a difficult situation."-Love this saying...
                      I have 1 boy 15 months old. He's very busy, and all boy and some days its hard to keep up with him. I am adding your blog to my favs..

                      Reply
                      1. Kelly Oct 21, 2010

                        I too am the mother of three boys (mine are grown now)plus one daughter. We use to get the same comments - 4 kids are you crazy? Oh, I bet you are glad you had your daughter first.
                        I always pictured myself as a girl mom but my boys sure changed that. All my children are a blessing and each one brings joy. However, was I glad that our first grandchild was a girl.

                        Reply
                        1. Melissa Oct 23, 2010

                          Hi,
                          I have 3 boys as well and I hear those comments just about every time I am out running errands. Most mothers have their hands full regardless of having 3 boys or not. Parenting is a tough job!! Thank you for your blog--I stumbled upon it this evening and I can't wait to read more!

                          Reply
                          1. Chanda Jul 30, 2011

                            I don't know where to begin. First, thank you. This post spoke directly to me. I need to practice more patience. I thought I had it down, but I don't. I have a 23 month old boy and a 3 month old boy. Yes, they are a blessing. Even when I have only had 1 hour of sleep, they still make me so happy. Thanks again for this post.

                            Reply
                            1. Anna Aug 2, 2011

                              I recently found your website and have LOVED reading all the posts, especially this one since I have 4 boys! The first 3 are the exact same age as your 3 boys and my baby is 9 months old. It is wild at times but I agree with you 100%- I get all these comments all the time! I love having boys, they are such a blessing!

                              Reply
                              1. Sarah Aug 2, 2011

                                Thanks for reading! We may be joining the four boys club soon - we'll find out at our ultrasound in two weeks!!

                                Reply
                              2. SunnyMOm Mar 23, 2012

                                I have four boys and I've gotten every comment in the book. From nice comments like, "wow, they are cute/fun/nice boys, etc" to very rude comments like, "you'll never be completely without a girl," "I bet your house is crazy!" and a stranger that said having all boys in a punishment from God. :( Having four boys attracts a lot of attention and not all of it good. I'm trying to learn to roll with the punches and not take the comments personally. I LOVE My boys and wouldn't trade them for anything!!

                                Reply
                                1. Sue Aug 4, 2014

                                  Dear Sarah,
                                  It is 12:30 am and I found your website through Pinterest. Your post on boys are a blessing not burdens has touched my heart. I actually cried and thanked God for guiding me to your site. I am really looking forward to read more future posts from you. Thank you for sharing your faith in God. I love all the kids creative projects. I going to pick a couple projects from your site to do with my sons this week. -Sue-

                                  Reply
                                  1. Missy D May 17, 2015

                                    Thanks for your post! I just ventured out for the first time after having my third boy and two people had to stop me to make comments about how I'll have my hands full with three boys. my boys weren't misbehaving in any way, yet this woman seemed to think her little princess was somehow easier. I bit my lip but I so wanted to say "trust me, your one little girl will be way more work!" I didn't. But I get irked at these comments from others that my three boys are a burden. It's such a blessing to have three boys and see life through a new perspective. I don't want my boys to hear this irrational pity from strangers on me because I have three boys. I don't want pity. I'm just minding my business shopping with my kids. ... my response to others before walking away--yes I have three boys which means we have a lot of fun! ... It is fun. I hope others read your post and watch their words in the future. I don't want my boys to ever think they're a burden to me because my kids happen to be all the same gender. I actually feel like I got off a little easier...all three the same gender and three boys. That is truly a blessing.

                                    Reply
                                    1. angi May 20, 2015

                                      I have two boys and I always get the are you going to try for a girl comment. I hate it because it almost implies that my sons aren't enough or are not what I want which just isn't true. My sweet boys are perfect little angel monsters that god decided to entrust to me for which I am profoundly humbled! We build forts, gather "magic beans" and acorns, wrestle, sword fight and slay monsters! I love how my sons are learning to be gentlemen and the biggest compliment I can get is my three year old telling me I am his best girl. Boys rock and that's all there is to it.

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