I am privileged to be the mom of four sons and one little girl, so it’s a pretty boy-heavy environment around here!  I never imagined that I would be the mom of so many sons, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  They certainly keep life exciting!  Do you have sons?  See if you can relate to any of these things we find ourselves saying…

Things you say when you are the parent of BOYS!

What are you doing up there?  It’s sounds like someone is going to come through the ceiling!

I am not going to ask you again to stop wrestling!

Let’s leave these sticks at the park.  We have enough at home already.

Please do not make your sister’s baby doll the prisoner.  And don’t pretend to cook her in the play kitchen either!

Football is not an indoor game.

We just ate!  How can you be hungry AGAIN?

Yes, you need a clean pair of socks every day.

Bearded dragon skin in a baggie on my refrigerator, waiting to be taken to the nature exhibit at the zoo. This is normal home decor, right?

Things you say when you are the parent of BOYS!

No, you cannot jump from the top bunk, even if you are landing in a pile of pillows!  I know you “won’t get hurt,” but let’s save this for the trampoline park, ok?

I found these Legos in the bottom of the washer.  Whose are they?

How long has this bathroom been out of soap and shampoo?  Why didn’t you say anything?  What exactly have you been using?

Wow!  What a lovely snake skin/pet frog/cockroach/etc.!

If there was already a ball and a frisbee stuck on the roof, you really should have stopped to think before throwing the football up there too…

No lightsabers at the dinner table, please!

UPDATE:  The comments on this post have been hysterical, both here and on Facebook!  I just have to add my two favorites, because I DO say these all the time!

Don’t hurt yourself because I don’t have time to spend the evening at the emergency room!


Why are you so dirty???

Now it’s your turn!  What do you hear yourself saying to your boys?


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  1. Susan Dunwoodie May 18, 2016

    You're fine, you're not bleeding (or you havent lost that much blood ) and there's no bones sticking get out, you're fine. Go play.

  2. Joy May 18, 2016

    Aim it DOWN toward the big oval please!!!!! Lol

  3. Joy May 18, 2016

    Your plastic hangers may NOT be used as a bow and arrow....

    1. Sarah May 18, 2016

      LOL... even my two year old has started using plastic hangers as bow and arrows! At our house we have a "no shooting nerf guns at one another without mutual consent" rule. I have been known to utter the words, "Don't aim that (nerf)gun at your brother without permission!"

      1. Stacey Sep 27, 2016

        Haha nerf rules in our house: no shooting animals unless your plan of cooking and eating them for reals and only shoot people in the butts. Faces are not butts!!

    2. Sarah May 20, 2016

      HA HA HA HA!!! Yes, I have said this!

    3. Andrea Sep 27, 2016

      Glad we aren't the only ones who have said that.

  4. Amanda May 19, 2016

    Quit farting on your brother's face.
    Quit using that stick as a gun/light saber/sword.
    Quit using all the clean sheets to clean up.
    The couch is not a wrestling mat.
    No more playing monsters before bed.

  5. Diana May 19, 2016

    I have a snake skin in my bedroom from an exibit my son went. It's not waiting to be taken anywhere, it's staying :).

  6. Carolien May 19, 2016

    Please stop that now!!!
    If you get hurt we haven't got time to go to the hospital! :)

    1. Sarah May 20, 2016

      YES! I should add that one to the post. I have said that SO many times! "Don't get hurt, I'm not heading out to the hospital at this hour!"

      1. Jen May 20, 2016

        Yep me too! also "why can't I do XYZ ?" "Because I don't have time to take you to the emergency room right now!"

  7. Cheryl May 19, 2016

    Aim for the water please!!!

  8. Lucy May 19, 2016

    No more Oreos in the bathtub!!!

  9. Michelle May 19, 2016

    No potty talk at the table

    1. Lisa May 20, 2016

      Oh mt gosh does the potty talk ever end ? ??

  10. Lorie Collins May 19, 2016

    Stop shooting each other!

    Don't LICK me! (Actually, this is for my daughter, not my sons.)

  11. Aria May 19, 2016

    Stop wrapping your penis round your fork please...

    1. Lisa May 20, 2016

      How about stop touching your penis. Seem to say it way too much.

      1. Karen Kisselstein May 20, 2016

        I have lost count how much I've said that to my boys!

        1. Sue Feb 2, 2017

          Mine said this in this in a busy store line up with my 2 other boys in tow "Look Mommy! It's standing Up! " to which I responded "put it away please!"

      2. Karen Kisselstein May 20, 2016

        I have lost count how many times I have said that to my boys too, LOL

    2. Sarah May 20, 2016

      Oh my!! LOL!

  12. Buffy May 20, 2016

    Please don't pee on your brother

    1. RaShell @ Mommy's Apron Sep 27, 2016

      I have so said this one too!

  13. Anna May 20, 2016

    Stop shouting
    Why are you so muddy?
    Pee in the toilet!
    We don't have poo/ fart talk at the table ( unfortunately we do!)
    Stop fiddling with yourself. Do you need a wee?
    Put a jumper on

    1. Sarah May 20, 2016

      If I had a dollar for every time I've said "Why are you so muddy?" I'd be quite rich! :-)

  14. Anna May 20, 2016

    Do not fart on your brother's head
    No, you can not go out without any clothes on, and yes, it is hot
    Put that gun/sabre/stick/large plastic dragon/Space Hopper down and come and eat
    No more fart jokes, please…
    Jaffa Cakes are not a major food source
    Point that into the toilet
    That was never 3 minutes of teeth cleaning
    Do you have to practice burping?

  15. Joe Paredes May 20, 2016

    Don't fight with your sister!! (3y/o boy ,11 y/of girl)
    Leave your bike outside.
    Don't kick the soccer ball INSIDE the house!
    Put that frog down.
    Don't chase those squirrels.

    1. Sarah May 20, 2016

      LOL, we have had some bikes try to come through the house too!

  16. Karen Kisselstein May 20, 2016

    Did you change your underwear today? Yes, it needs to be changed every day.

    When was the last time your showered?

    Who brought all these rocks in the house?

    Do not get dirty before we leave for church.

    No wrestling in the kitchen. I don't want anyone falling on the tile. Take it into the living room where there is carpet.

    How can you be hungry again?

    No squirt guns in the house. Take them outside.

    Why does this bathroom smell like an outhouse? If you miss the toilet, please clean it up.

    1. Holly Jun 5, 2016

      Ha - we totally have the tile/carpet rules. No wrestling on the tile - go to the carpet. No popsicles on the carpet - go to the tile. And so on.

  17. vera May 20, 2016

    Changing the toilet roll won't cause brain damage !! I have six boys and I can definitely relate to everything you said :0)

  18. Beth May 20, 2016

    Quit licking your brothers!(2yrs,4yrs,8yrs&10yrs old~all boys)
    Stop throwing that!(everything from pillows to toys to clothes etc...)
    Use your inside quiet voice, not everyone wants to hear what mommy is doing!(in the bathroom at the store)
    You lost your pacee again! (75 pacees later)
    Don't eat that!! (Recently found a slug in 2yr olds mouth?)
    You can't use the drawers for a ladder!
    Me:Put your toys in the toy box~4yr old, but mommy this is my burn pile! Me:No burn piles in the house!
    Oh my the list could go on~but I have to go check on my quiet boys...........?

  19. Lisa Azbill May 20, 2016

    "Stay outta the diet, we're getting ready to leave" 2 minutes later.....
    "Get in here so we can change your clothes & go"

    1. Lisa May 20, 2016

      I meant 'dirt'...lol

  20. Marianne May 20, 2016

    "Please don't put that plastic frog up your brothers nose again."

    "Who thought it was funny to put this donkey in my bed!"

  21. Emma May 20, 2016

    LOL! I have a daughter and find myself saying some of these. Once I heard myself say, "No, you can't lasso the dog..."

  22. Shirley May 20, 2016

    When you change your underwear, put it in the laundry, not back in your drawer.

  23. Cathy Samuelson May 20, 2016

    "You may not get in the trampoline with roller blades and a rope."

    When mine spoke gross at the dinner table, they got to finish their meal in the bathroom. Each only did that once.

  24. Clare May 20, 2016

    "No shooting at mum!"

  25. Tom May 21, 2016

    It is always affirming to know that you are not alone when it comes to the things we say to our kids! I'm an older dad; I have my boy, girl, boy from my first marriage (28, 26 and 19) and now my 'little' boy and girl (almost 8 and 6), and I've said the same things repeatedly to all of them.
    However, when I say them, I recognise that a lot were learned from MY mum (Gwen), who's 92 now!! Here mantra was "Mind that!" I'm sure she made me be over-cautious - when I warn my youngest two, their mum cuts in with "Yes...Gwen!" to me!
    Finally, its breakfast time, Saturday, here. My kids were allowed a small bag of sweets from the supermarket after school yesterday, but had to save some "for later". Amelia just asked if she could have a couple of sweets now, and even before I could speak, Benjamin came out with, "We're not allowed sweets at breakfast time; you know that's what HE's gonna say!"

  26. Nicole Solano May 21, 2016

    Please put your penis away.
    Why is there a dragon/dinosaur/superhero in my bed?
    Stopping trying to ride the dog
    Stop jumping from the coffee table to the couch
    Did I ask your opinion?
    This is not a democracy, this is a dictatorship. Do it now!

  27. Audrey May 21, 2016

    Don't put your booty on people.
    We don't pee on Mommy.
    I didn't ask if you *wanted* to ...
    Where are your shoes?
    Don't chase the dog with a sword.
    Keep the pliers away from the baby.
    Be careful! (I know/I am!) No you're not.

  28. crystal May 23, 2016

    Separate from your brother & stop fighting!!

  29. Laura Williams May 25, 2016

    Stop playing with your pee pee!! Lol

  30. Eskymama May 25, 2016

    No blood? no problem.
    Blood? okay, a butterfly bandage will take care of it.
    Your boredom should not be your brother/sister's problem.
    You put a hole in that wall, you get to patch it. (Dad may have to re-patch later, but they learned how to.)

  31. Marie May 25, 2016

    Please stop fighting
    Stop gassing us with your facts
    How did lego get up your nose

  32. Kate May 25, 2016

    Ahh I love these. I thought I was the only one who had 'don't lick that/your sister/the window' on my list of most used sentences. Also
    Where's your shirt
    Where are your shoes
    Leave that bug outside
    Please lift the seat when you wee

  33. Abbie May 25, 2016

    Your hungry again?
    Flush toilet and wash hands!
    Stop picking your nose/feet
    Your farts stink like daddies
    Stop putting stickers everywhere including on the baby
    Dirty clothes in the wash, not the floor!
    How are you so dirty
    Leave the snail/ants alone

  34. Samantha Keaton May 25, 2016

    I love that this is real... I have one son and one daughter... It seems no matter how many boys there are they are all genetically the same... Myconstant daily battle is yes you have to wear underwear to school. Stop picking your nose and flicking at your sister. Don't shoot your sister or her cat with your nerf gun they aren't moving targets... How did you get dirt all the way up on your nose? We are in Australia and boys will be boys everywhere.

  35. Melissa May 25, 2016

    Mom's a nurse. We only go to the hospital when we're dying.

  36. Beth May 25, 2016

    One of my all time favorites, please take your foot out of the Kleenex box. NO you cannot wear it to school (to a 4 to)

  37. Carla May 26, 2016

    Can we leave the fart jokes for after dinner?

  38. Marcia May 27, 2016

    Funny comments! But you are kidding yourselves if you think these things are pure boy. I have raised 2 girls, I have 3 granddaughters, and I have taught hundreds of girls and young women. The only limits they know are the ones we set for them. If you expect high energy, curiosity, experimentation, humor, daydreaming, silliness, and competition from girls as you do from boys (i.e., boys will be boys), you will get it.

    1. Jan Jan 13, 2017

      Absolutely agree with this!

  39. Paris May 30, 2016

    I have two awesome boys, 8 and 6....

    Did you put on clean underwear? No you can't wear those again.
    You did NOT brush your teeth for two minutes, I've only walked out of the bathroom to the kitchen!! (They have to go brush again.)
    Put your clothes back on. (They seem to want to live in their underwear.)
    Stop picking your nose.
    No bouncing/throwing/kicking balls in the house.
    Stop scaring your brother.
    Go die in the other room!! (My sister and I said this at the exact some time to our older sons after they had been shooting each other and, in very loud and dramatic ways, dying - we could barely hear ourselves talking and we were standing right next to each other!)
    Clean up your pee!!
    Where is/are your . We're late!
    No more rocks/sticks/pine cones.
    Don't squish the cat.
    Stop shooting the cat.
    Stop squirting the cat (with water bottle).
    Leave the cat ALONE!!
    Please be quiet, I'm on the phone!
    Yes, you do have to do your homework.
    Oldest son: school is boring, I don't want to go! Me: well which chores would you like to do all day? Clean your bathroom, pick weeds, sort through all your toys, clean up your room, load the dishwasher or fold laundry? And when you're done with one you get to pick another! Won't that be fun?
    There's not that much blood, you're fine.
    Why is your brother crying?
    Which one of you did this?
    Enough with the fart noises/jokes.
    Come here. Come here. Come HERE!
    Stop climbing on that!
    How did you get all that food on your face?!
    You just ate!!!
    Ok! Five minutes of quiet, before I lose my mind!!!!

  40. Shaina Jun 17, 2016

    I have 3 girls and 5 boys with the girls all at the end and believe me when I say that the only ones I don't say to my girls just as much as the boys are quit playing with yourself and aim at the toilet please or pee outside! Lol we live out in the country so we can. The other day my daughter came inside furious because she was wrestling with the boys and they loosened one of her teeth. I had to explain to her for the umpteenth time, if you cant handle the pain don't play the game! (It was a baby tooth anyways). And I am constantly telling my girls to wear clean underwear and yes you must wear more than just your underwear! It is also a struggle to get the girls to quit peeing outside. I wonder if it would be different it boys were raised in a girl dominated household?

  41. Csmom Jul 28, 2016

    Did you you just drink from the toilet or the sink??!!!!

    Take off your shoes before your pants

    Put the whisk/dinosaur/stick/vaccuum attachment down

  42. Jim Aug 10, 2016

    No, we're not getting that. *classic*

  43. RaShell @ Mommy's Apron Sep 27, 2016

    I have 5 boys. My life is awesome! :)

    Stop drinking out of that mud puddle.
    Hurry up and get your pants on, someone is at the door.
    You may not eat ketchup and mustard as the main meal.
    Get your head out of the toilet.
    You are not up to dress code, please go get more clothing on.
    There will be no more shooting bad guys in devotions.
    You may not have spelling lessons from the Chick-Fil-A cows.
    Please don't stick you head in the garbage can.
    Why are there 47 1/2 pairs of socks in the backyard?
    Yes, I want you to untie him.
    Everyone who had clothing on, please come eat!

    1. Tab Dec 12, 2016

      HAHAHA love it thanks for the laughs

  44. morris man Oct 14, 2016

    were not getting that
    stop coloring on the walls (with permanent markers)
    wheres your pants
    toothpaste is for brushing teeth, not for drawing monsters on the mirror

  45. Heather Oct 23, 2016

    Don't stab your brother (nerf sword).
    Don't hurt your "peepee", Honey. You might need to use that thing some day.
    You do NOT wear your brothers underwear on your head! Put it back in the laundry!
    My older son had the word mess to define for homework. He wrote down..."something my brother makes".

    (Does anyone else keep wipes in every door of the car? And in every room of the house?)

  46. MIK Oct 27, 2016

    Yes its right, boys are hard work but pure fun, too. I have 2mice sceletons in a box and a turtel in my fridge (wintersleep) :-)

    I like your Blog a lot, thank you for sharing. Best wishes from Germany,

  47. Tab Dec 12, 2016

    HAHAHA...well my son thinks that we don't have a bathroom, seems to want to pee outside and make shapes LOL
    O lawd help me

  48. Christine Mar 16, 2017

    I know I'm late to the party, but just today I was thinking... if I took all the sentences I say throughout the day and put them in order by frequency of use, the #1 sentence is: Put your underwear on!

  49. Michelle Nov 2, 2018

    If you're gonna be stupid, you better be tough.


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