You Might be a Mom of (All) Boys If...
  • Your purse has become a storage place for favorite rocks and acorns and sticks that must be saved because they look like guns.
  • You know the difference between an excavator and a back hoe loader.
  • You have ever pulled over to the side of the road to get out and watch construction vehicles at work.
  • You know the names of all the dinosaurs.
  • You know the names of all the trains on Thomas the Tank Engine.
  • You have ever had a bug of some sort living in a jar on your kitchen table.
  • You’ve googled what kind of bug is living in a jar on your kitchen table so that you know what type of food it should be fed.
  • Your washing machine has a ring of dirt and sand in it after the cycle is over.
  • You’ve had to counsel your children on why wearing the same pair of socks three days in a row is not acceptable.
  • You’ve also had to instruct children not to announce their burps and other bodily functions.
  • You know the acute pain of stepping on a Lego.
  • You find Legos in the bottom of the washer and in the cracks of the sofa and pretty much everywhere else too.
  • You are an expert on the various types of firearms.
  • Your home has two volumes – loud and louder. (Have you ever lingered outside while taking out the trash, just because it’s quiet out there? I have…)
  • You have never heard your children talk about “getting their feelings hurt.” (Maybe some boys do this? Mine get mad over being insulted, but we don’t have a lot of “feelings” over here!)
  • You regularly receive gifts of dandelions tenderly picked from the yard and presented with grubby fingers.
  • And saving the best for last, you might be a mom of (all) boys if all the children fight to sit next to you while reading or watching a movie… it’s a hard job being everyone’s favorite, but somebody’s gotta do it!

20 Comments

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  1. Debbie Oct 25, 2012

    I am dying! Every single one of these is so, so true! I would add that, no matter what purse you are carrying, you can always find two or three hot wheels cars in it for an emergency. Also, pants seem to be optional, no matter how much you claim the contrary.

    Reply
    1. Sarah Oct 25, 2012

      Oh yes! I forgot Hotwheels! Pants are not a problem at our house, but they strongly feel that shirts are optional. If I take the baby's shirt off because it's dirty, then before I can put a clean one on him everyone is begging to have their shirt off too!

      Reply
    2. Jami Steelee Feb 1, 2013

      You just perfected the list!!

      Reply
    3. jennifer collins Nov 13, 2013

      Yes!Pants always seem to be found on the floor instead of on the boys. My boys in their tighty whity's are seen running through the house, with no shame! I only ask that they not answer the door like that!

      Reply
  2. Eddie - The Usual Mayhem Oct 25, 2012

    So true! I have two boys out of three children, and I have broken toes from rolling on Hot Wheels across a floor in tee dark, scars from the Lego wounds, and I can also name every medieval weapon and torture device known to man. I also have a stellar collection of dead bugs that they want to sketch "someday".

    I figure it's expanded my knowledge base, given me new insight into how guys think, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

    Reply
    1. Sarah Oct 25, 2012

      Love the dead bug collection! Ha!

      Reply
  3. Peyton Price, Suburban Haiku Oct 25, 2012

    If you can ID
    Axe body spray with one whiff
    you're a boy mama.

    If your minivan
    has loose cups (not for sipping)
    you're a boy mama.

    If middle school girls
    all look like harlots to you
    you're a boy mama.

    If you're surrounded
    by balls everywhere you go
    you're a boy mama.

    Reply
  4. Tori Oct 25, 2012

    You know of course that Duplos and Mega Blocks are just as dangerous as regular Legos! Being a Mama to five boys, I have had the joy of carrying around my fair share of Matchbox/Hot Wheels cars. Our collection is literally in the hundreds! I find all kinds of assorted oddments in my washing machine, and sometimes dryer! Rocks and change are a given, candy wrappers are frequent, nuts, bolts and screws turn up regularly. Buttons, springs, bottle caps you name it, I've found it. All the blankets in the house get confiscated by the "army", "troops", "team", or whatever they may be calling themselves, to make forts/hide-outs/caves. Everything remotely in the shape of a gun, becomes a gun...fingers are the obvious choice. Marshmallows aren't just for eating anymore..they have become ammunition! Along with spit-wads. Socks get worn for days on end, as well as all other articles of clothing including underwear, unless I intervene and threaten to hose them down outside due to smell. Boys are born with a whole 'nother language as well..the language of all motor sounds, with the secondary dialect of weapon sounds. Most girls just can't break the language code, so we don't even try. I do have to add here, that even though I have had five boys, I also have ONE girl, and she is just as tough, hard at play, and down and dirty as her brothers! She is a tom boy at heart and can out wrestle her brothers any day! Oh, and she's a pretty good shot! Not to mention her forts always stayed up! She also had her own set of Matchbox/Hot Wheels cars ;)

    Reply
  5. CathyH Oct 25, 2012

    You're not done yet.
    You know you're a Mom of teenage (or older) boys when...
    ...your washing machine pump is clogged with airsoft pellets
    ...you have to pick the little airsoft balls out of the holes in that drain the washing machine tub and
    ...your dryer lint trap won't fit in the slot because it is lined with airsoft pellets..

    That's just this week's list...

    Reply
    1. Sarah Oct 25, 2012

      My boys know what airsoft is, but don't own any yet! I'm sure our day is coming on that one...

      Reply
  6. Rolana Oct 25, 2012

    Too funny. I have two girls and a boy and I can relate to all of this, but a lot of it was the girls too. They love Lego and collecting rocks as much or more than their brother. I agree with Tori about the different language of boys, neither my girls or myself can make the gun and motor sounds my son and husband can. I think you can add body slam hugs to that list :)

    Reply
  7. Elizabeth Oct 25, 2012

    Having all boys myself I was in tears laughing. I would add that playing war, ninjas, dueling are normal words in addition to cops and robbers. We have enough Nerf guns to outfit the entire neighborhood and have found "bullets" in the weirdest spots. (The dog is scared of guns and rubber bands. BTW those can be deadly too.) We have had many a happy face of bullets on the ceiling and many other things that I have deemed wiser to not know what they were. I have a Lego collection from remains I have found in the washer and dish washer that gets raided frequently. Also, I now only make them move their forts to their bedroom when I need a clean room. I am the sole girl in household of boys and I am now a him due to pronoun confusion but it is a title I wear proudly!! :)

    Reply
    1. Sarah Oct 25, 2012

      I totally forgot about Nerf! Yes, we find Nerf darts in the most bizarre places. When we moved, we found several darts behind furniture, etc. Our dog comes and sits at my feet if the boys start playing Nerf wars! He doesn't like it when they play balloons either, but if they're wrestling, he'll join in. It's an honor to be the only girl - you have lots of protection!

      Reply
  8. Sally Oct 25, 2012

    I love the last one best. My 3 boys fight to sit next to me. It's a battle I am flattered by. :)

    Reply
    1. Erin Oct 26, 2012

      My baby (not two yet) pushes all other boys off my lap. There is no contest, he's the winner every time.

      Reply
  9. Ticia Oct 25, 2012

    Don't forget ER trips are a regular occurence.

    Reply
    1. Sarah Oct 25, 2012

      That's true! That totally should have made the list. "You might be a mom of boys if you're on a first name basis with the people at urgent care." We've done stitches and glue for cuts. No broken bones... yet. Two of my boys have matching scars above their eyes! One was from hitting his head on a rocking chair runner, the other boy ran into the lawn mower with his head!

      Reply
  10. Erin Oct 26, 2012

    Star Wars (including Star Wars Lego) and superheroes litter the floors in our house. Every boy is a Jedi - or Sith Lord - and the little one even spoke Wookie almost from birth.

    I had to hide the Nerf darts because the little kept trying to eat them.

    Reply
  11. Kimberly S. Oct 26, 2012

    If you've learned to check the toilet seat for "drips" before sitting down, your a mom to boys.

    Although, I think some of these things may have applied for me to my mom growing up, since I was a bit of a tomboy. The one thing I love having 2 boys is that I get to play with Legos, Lincoln Logs, and K'Nex, which to me are a lot more fun than Barbies and Tea Parties.

    Reply
  12. Nicole Oct 27, 2012

    Love it! I too am a mom of 4 boys, our newest is only 2 months so he is the least of my trouble but the rest of them they keep me busy. Even our animals are boys. I definetly feel outnumbered.

    Reply
  13. Faith Apr 9, 2013

    This was hilarious!, everyone's additions were great. I have 4 boys: ages 9, 8, 6, 4. Legos, cars, dirt/sand, etc are a regular part of our day. ER trips are classic - 1 son broke his foot standing on a ball because he was "in the circus". I do love being the only girl, as they are definite protectors. It's good to hear other households of all boys are just as lively as mine. Most of my friends have 1 or no boys, so their houses are much calmer.

    Reply
  14. Allison May 3, 2013

    Ahh, as always thanks for the laughs. I did have to say a few times (to myself of course) not all moms have seen/done/had this in their purse? Oh yeah, moms of girls don't always... but yes, thanks for the laughs, and yes, ALL of those things have happened to me and more! :D

    Reply
  15. Heather May 3, 2013

    My life! :) love it....so glad I found you!

    Reply
  16. Jen Oct 5, 2013

    Tonight--I dumped a load of whites on my bed, and my oldest volunteered to fold socks while I gave his brother a bath. (Way to go, Champ!) Soon he called to me, "Mom, there's sand all over your bed!" Ha! It's been showing up more and more! Sarah, I loved your list. I just found you a few weeks ago and pinned your Biblical boyhood articles. They were so encouraging. It was good to find someone of like faith who takes parenting and homeschooling and pleasing the Lord seriously. I am so glad that you have this blog!

    Reply
  17. Val Oct 7, 2013

    Yes to all of those! In addition to hurt feelings, we have one very sensitive boy, oh and nerf darts everywhere they shoot them up from under the door when I'm trying to hide out in the bathroom...and the sound of bouncing balls against the walls...and socks, socks everywhere, in the couch, under the bed you name it...

    Reply
  18. Gina (aka East Coast Mommy) Oct 7, 2013

    Definitely agree on the "loud and louder". My husband once downloaded an app that measured nose levels, and our house was equivalent to an underground subway. lol

    Reply
  19. Jackie Jan 17, 2014

    The announcing of body noises and dandelions right on the dot!

    Reply
  20. Melinda King Mar 29, 2014

    When you hear a thunk and crying the first thing you ask is - are you bleeding? No? Walk it off...
    Or yes, and I grab the kit with everything from a red washcloth (saved me many a time-can't see blood=not as much freaking out) that neospirin wound wash is great and neospirin and butterfly bandaids and tic tacks because they make everything better :)

    Reply

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