Do your kids love jokes? Here are plenty of hilarious jokes to keep them laughing!

We’ve been collecting these for months… specially selected to be as non-annoying and actually as funny as kid’s jokes can be! 🙂 Links to more jokes at the end of the post.

The Ultimate Collection of Hilarious Jokes for Kids

Q: Why is it dangerous to play cards in the jungle?

A: Because there are so many CHEETAHS!

Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry?

A: Because they are always stuffed!

Q: What is the Easter Bunny’s favorite restaurant?


Q: Where do sheep go on vacation?

A: To the Baa-hamas!

Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?

Because it’s too far to walk!

Q: What musical instrument do you find in the bathroom?

A: A tuba toothpaste!

Q: Why did the belt go to jail?

A: Because he held up a pair of pants!

Q: What did the king say when he went to the dentist?

A: I came to get my crown!

Q: Where do people go when they have two broken legs?

A: Nowhere!

Q: Where do monkeys exercise?

A: At the jungle gym!

Q: A king had three goblets. Two were full, and one was half full. What was the name of the king?

A: Philip III! (Fill up the third)

Q: What do you call a puppy stuck outside in the rain?

A: A soggy doggy!

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

A: Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels!

Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty like autumn?

A: Because he had a great fall!

Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

A: He was a baaaaaaaad driver.

Q: What do you call a mad elephant?

A: An earthquake!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To show the armadillo it could be done! (Texas joke – no one here ever sees a live armadillo…)

Q: What do cats eat for breakfast?

A: Mice Crispies!

Q: What’s gray and goes round and round?

A: An elephant in a washing machine!

Q: Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?

A: So he wouldn’t get his tennis shoes wet!

Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?

A: So they won’t sink in the sand!

Q: Why do ostriches stick their heads in the ground?

A: They’re looking for elephants who forgot to wear their sandals!

Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?

A: Because then it would be a foot!

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Owl’s say.

Owl’s say who?

Yes, they do!

Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?

A: Don’t look now, but something between us smells!

Q: What kind of food does a racehorse eat?

A: Fast Food!

Q: Why do humming birds hum?

A: Because they don’t know the words!

Q: What do fish play on the piano?

A: Scales!

Q: What do you get from a cow who gets her own way all the time?

A: Spoiled milk!

Q: What is the smartest kind of bee?

A: A spelling bee!

Need more jokes?

The Ultimate Collection of Hilarious Jokes for Kids


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  1. Teresa Sep 1, 2015

    hahahahaaaaa!!!! I love jokes like these!!!! Thanks for cheering me up before bedtime!! I vowed last week that I was going to start sneaking in the odd joke into my boys' lunchboxes when they go back to school, so thank you!!!

  2. BJ Sep 4, 2015

    The chicken and the armadillo....funniest joke I've heard in a long time! OK, so I don't hear jokes much, but my family is going to love this one!

    1. Sarah Sep 4, 2015

      It was my favorite too! Definitely a Texas joke. :-)

      1. royalty Mar 12, 2018

        I don't really understand
        the joke

    2. This guy Feb 20, 2018

      Here’s a joke I made

      Where do lions put there rubbish in?

      The Raa-bbish bin!!!!!!

  3. Mema Jeanne Sep 4, 2015

    Thank you so so so much for these jokes!!! Our soon to be 5 yr. old grandson loves to tell jokes, and we have run out of them. So he will be so excited to share some new ones with us and his friends.

  4. Cheejsbrew Feb 20, 2016

    My husband and I had a barrel of laughs with our daughter tonight! These jokes are so funny and witty! ?

  5. Jim Jul 29, 2016

    Thank you for these jokes. I'm sure I can keep my grandkids giggling for a while with these. I am thinking about printing them, cutting up so each joke is separate, put them in a paper bag , and then let the kids take turns pulling one out of the bag and read it. Sounds like a neat party activity.

  6. Eva bozart Mar 19, 2017

    All the jokes were so funny.

  7. Jason Sep 16, 2017

    The Jokes are funny and good

  8. Madison Sep 29, 2017

    You should add why did the girl put peanut butter on the road because there was a traffic jam

  9. Kaetlyn H. Feb 19, 2018

    Here's a few chemistry-related jokes that are sure to crack you up!

    Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
    A: You Barium

    Q: What do you do with a hurt chemist?
    A: You Helium

    Q: How do cops arrest a chemist?
    A: They Caesium

  10. This guy Feb 20, 2018

    Where do lions put there rubbish in

    The Raa-bbish bin

    Where do sheeps barber their hair

    At the Baaar-bers!

  11. royalty Mar 12, 2018

    how about people love my first name and hate my second name

  12. Charlotte tanner Jul 8, 2018

    i was telling my grandpa jokes and i found these hilarious jokes it was the perfect thing he never got them right


  13. Mariah Sep 28, 2018

    I really want to do more jokes theses are the
    Best jokes

  14. james Dec 12, 2018

    yo mamas so fat she got a picture with santa it's still printing.

  15. Dhanu Rajwani Aug 1, 2019

    Loved the silly little jokes!!....... My kids are going to enjoy them!!

  16. Ryan Parker Jul 21, 2020

    Where do cows go to learn history?
    They go to the moo-seum.

  17. Tony Gioia Jun 3, 2021

    Why can’t you play games in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!


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