Looking for funny jokes for kids? Here are 100 hilarious kids jokes that are clean and family friendly! Whether you’re looking for material for a joke of the day, entertainment for a road trip, or just wanting to make kids laugh, these jokes are the best!
Telling silly jokes is such a childhood rite of passage. My kids love jokes!
After this, you’ll want to head over to our collection of Knock, Knock Jokes for Kids. I specifically picked out jokes that parents can actually appreciate. These jokes won’t drive you crazy… unless, of course, your kids are telling them for the 400th time. Then there’s not much I can do about that!
UPDATE: Printable version! There’s now a printable list of jokes to print! Read the jokes in this post, or scroll down to the bottom of the page to print them.
This post was last updated October 2021.
- Q: How do all the oceans say hello to each other? They wave!
2. Q: What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
3. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
4. Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
5. Q: Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, cows go MOO!
7. Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
8. Q: What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean meat!
9. Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!
10. Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
11. Q: What animal needs to wear a wig? A bald eagle!
12. Q: What do you call a fly without wings? A walk!
13. Knock knock. Who’s there? A little old lady? A little old lady who? I didn’t know you could yodel!
14. Q: Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs!
15. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
16. Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!
17. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire Frostbite!
18. Q: What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
19. Q: Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!
20. Q: Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had so many problems!
21. Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump!
22. Q: If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring?Pilgrims!
23. Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
24. Q: What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
25. Q: Why do sharks swim in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
26. Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him!
27. Q: Where do fish keep their money? In the river bank!
28. Q: Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
29. Q: What is brown and sticky? A stick!
30. Q: Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed!
31. Q: How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed? Your head hits the ceiling!
32. Q: Why are elephants so wrinkled? Because they take too long to iron!
33. Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging? Take away her credit card!
34. Q: Why did the elephant paint himself different colors? So he could hide in the crayon box!
35. Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?By the footprints in the butter!
36. Q: What is the difference between elephants and grapes? Grapes are purple.
37. Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? “Here come the elephants!”
38. Q: What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming? “Here come the grapes!” (She was colorblind.)
39. Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
40. Q: What can you catch but not throw? A cold!
41. Q: What has hands but can’t clap? A clock!
42. Q: What do you call a dog that can tell time? A watch dog!
43. Q: What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I’m going on ahead. (going on a head)
44. Q: What side of a turkey has the most feathers? The outside!
45. Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt? The snow!
46. Q: Why did the teacher put on sunglasses? Because her students were so bright!
47. Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity? Shocked!
48. Q: Why do strings never win a race? Because they always tie!
49. Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!
50. Q: What do you call a flower that runs on electricity? A power plant!
51. Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing in the choir? Because she was a little horse!
52. Q: Why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he felt crummy!
53. Q: What kind of room doesn’t have doors? A mushroom!
54. Q: What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
55. Q: How do you keep a bull from charging? Take away its credit card!
56. Q: What did one plate say to the other? Dinner is on me!
57. Q: How do you make a lemon drop? Just let go of it!
58. Q: Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly!
59. Q: What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs!
60. Q: Which hand is better to write with? Neither. It’s better to write with a pencil!
61. Q: What did the traffic light say to the truck? Don’t look! I’m changing!
62. Q: What is the witch’s favorite school subject? Spelling!
63. Q: What did the frog order for lunch? A burger and a diet croak!
64. Q: Why did the teddy bear not want any dessert? Because she was stuffed!
65. Q: What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.
66. Q: Why should you never trust a pig with a secret? Because it’s bound to squeal.
67. Q: What do cows order from? Cattle-logs!
68. Q: What’s the difference between broccoli and boogers? Kids don’t eat broccoli!
69. Q: What kind of haircuts do bees get? Buzzzzcuts!
70. Q: How can you tell if someone is a good farmer? He is outstanding in his field!
71. Q: What do you call a man with a shovel? Doug.
72. Q: How do mountains stay warm in winter? Snowcaps
73. Q: Why can’t a person’s nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
74. Q: What has a ton of ears but can’t hear a thing? A corn field.
75. Q: What do you call the horse that lives next door? Your neighbor!
76. Q: What kind of shoes do spies wear? Sneakers!
77. Q: Why did the man put sugar on his pillow? He wanted to have sweet dreams!
78. Q: Why did the computer sneeze? Because it had a virus!
79. Q: What do you call two banana peels? A pair of slippers!
80. Q: What do you call a cow who gets her way all the time? Spoiled milk!
81. Q: How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experiments! (experi-mints!)
82. Q: What is a computer programmer’s favorite snack? Computer chips!
83. Q: Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don’t know the words!
84. Q: What do you call a mad elephant? An earthquake!
85. Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it’s too far to walk!
86. Q: What do you get on every birthday? A year older!
87. Q: Why should you not talk to circles? Because there is no point!
88. Q: Why is it dangerous to play cards in the jungle? Because there are so many CHEETAHS! (cheaters)
89. Q: How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
90. Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
91. Q: How many apples grow on a tree? All of them!
92. Q: What’s gray and goes round and round? An elephant in a washing machine!
93. Q: Why can’t an egg tell a joke? It will crack up!
94. Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
95. Q: What do fish play on the piano? Scales!
96. Q: Where do hamburgers go dancing? A meat ball!
97. Q: How do billboards talk? Sign language!
98. Q: What do snakes like to study in school? Hissss-tory!
99. Q: What kind of music do balloons hate? Pop music.
100. Q: What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry!
101. Q: What do you call a cow that can’t moo? A milk dud.
Ready to print this collection of jokes? Click the link below. The file will open, and you can print from there.
CLICK HERE: Printable 75 Hilarious Jokes for Kids
Read more kids jokes! We’ve got jokes about animals, holidays, and more.
Head over to read 50 Hilarious Knock, Knock Jokes for Kids.
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- Looking for awful puns and groaners? Try 50 Funny Dad Jokes
Have a joke to add? Leave a comment with your kids’ favorite joke!